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Do you think someone who is overweight is somehow less worthy of love and respect?

My Grandma thinks so. I'm constantly compared to my family members who weigh around 100,110 lbs.Even though they got that way by starving themselves and a ciggarette and coffee "diet". She never praised me for being a good person,wife,mother,all I ever hear/heard was that I was heavy.
I put on some weight after my baby passed away and depression has made it hard to motivate myself to do better. I know I need to do better,but the putdowns don't help.
Whatever happened to loving someone for who they are,not what they look like? Especially a granddaughter...


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 11:08 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Everyone is worth love and respect. Your grandmother is the one with the problem Dear...NOT YOU. Plus sized women are more in demand these days and are considered just as sexy. If we all were a size 6 there would be no individuality. I understand about your depression for I recently lost my first grandchild which was my only daughter's first child and who I saw come into this world already gone. It's normal to feel depressed but allow me to give you something that may ease your pain somewhat. Think of your baby as the guardian of your future children and your salvation for now. They are and will always be here in spirit and forever be present in times of need. I know it sounds messed up when someone says "everything happens for a reason" but there is truth to that. There was something that child wanted you to see or experience in life by there short presence. Something you need to be stronger. Figure out what that may be.

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 11:26 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • You must define your own value. Yes, you are heavy. You can change that. But you are more than heavy. You are many good things too. Tell yourself those things. You must value you, not wait for others to value you.

    Answer by errantmommy at 11:20 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • U r grandmother has the issue not u!! I guess Im fortunate cuz I am bigger but so is most of my family lol.Hang in there dont let them stop u from being the wonderful person u r !!!!

    Answer by ahsweetness at 11:17 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I think alot of factors contribute to weight gain and once you gain weight and start to feel bad about it then it is even harder to get the weight off. You should be loved for who you are. I think older people just say whatever is on their mind and dont really mean to hurt feelings. I hope you get some help with your depression and just start with short walks. It will help you with depression, weight and just giv eyou more energy. Start first by loving yourself- start doing stuff that you do just because you love yourself. You know you are wotth it, dont let them make you feel bad. The more you love your self the more you will want to take care of yourself. the more you take care ofyourself the healthier you will be. Do you have any hobbies?

    Answer by ria7 at 11:19 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Less worthy? No.

    Less likely to find? Yes.

    Good luck resolving your issues with depression. I hope you're feeling better soon.

    Answer by missingruth at 11:12 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I think alot(NOT ALL)of people will say no to your question, but in reality to feel that way and don't even realize it. I see it all the time. And have you noticed when you get into with you, the first thing they have to throw in your face is your weight instead of the subject at hand? I think you are going to have to blinders on and keep on truckin girl! I have been told about my weight so many times it doesn't even phase me anymore. I don't know if its a good or bad thing. Hang in there!

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:25 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Im sorry you even feel that way. No one should ever feel that way. First of all, you are going through a lot. Making yourself "skinny" is the least of your worries. You will be fit in do time, if you shall chose. You have a loving husband and Im sure great kids that love you. Your gandma needs to get out of the 40's and reliaze it 2010. People shouldnt have to strave themselves to be so skinny. Who wants to be 100 lbs anyhow. I would feel like there was nothing to me. Good luck! Feel good about yourself, dont worry about what others think.

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 11:35 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • it's your grandmothers issue, though she's wrong to do so, somewhere in her mind she probably thinks that she's helping.
    I'm sorry she's like this-

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:38 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Unfortunately, some people view overweight people as lacking self-control, self-esteem, etc. They think that overwieght people can always help that they are overwieght (which is not the case for many, of course) and that they don't change b/c they are lazy. It's BS and she is your grandmother. She should love you no matter what size you are. It may also be that she is insecure about her weight/appearance and so she points it out on you in an attempt to distract others from criticizing her.

    Answer by danielp at 12:11 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • thank youAll your enpowering words really help.


    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Oct. 11, 2010