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2 Bumps

oh really, now it's MY fault?!

Okay so the other day I posted something about my mom going to a bar with her skanky sister and a newly divorced friend. Well my dad was pissed and he asked me if I thought anything was going on. He's been thinking she's cheating b/c she's acting different and has recently lost alot of weight..etc. Well I told him to just watch his back and if I found out she was doing something to him, I'd let him know. My mother has been talking to an ex of hers and telling him how much she wants to be with him and he has said the same to her. Even thought I wanted to tell my dad that, I didn't...yet. Now he's talking about leaving my mom b/c I told him to watch his back b/c she was acting shady. My mom is mad at me for it. How is it my fault that SHE is talking to another man behind my dad's back? I refuse to let her blame me for this but I guess I'm just looking for advice on what to do... :/

 
josiesmommy00

Asked by josiesmommy00 at 11:32 AM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 35 (77,306 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think i posted on this post-
    it's not your fault! she's got no one to blame but herself and she knows it! she just thought she was going to get away with it and have her cake and eat it too. Now that your dad isn't willing to put up with it, she's probably surprised and is lashing out and you.
    what is she going to do? admit that she did this to herself? my mom never would.
    my mom was divorced when she started this nonsense, but she put it out on me too when it all backfired on her!
    in my case she called me 'un-supportive' and 'mean' when she'd get herself in a bad situation and I told her that it was her actions that got her into it and she needed to take responsibility.

    I'd just be as nice as you can to your parents, and I guess just tell them things like 'sorry you are having a hard time'.
    but it's your dad's choice on what he wants to do, and it's their marriage.
    not your fault, you did nothing wrong!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:48 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • It looks like you are smack in the middle of a situation. I don't think there will be any right answer now since suspicion is already out there. I wouldn't feel guilty for being trapped in the middle of something and trying to be fair about it all. They will have to confront each other at some point anyway before things escalate.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 11:37 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • You stepped into something that you shouldn't have. In the future, you should stay out of your parents' relationship. It's between them. Your father also stepped over the line in bringing you in further. Don't fall for it again.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 11:36 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Maybe stay out of it... Or else you might look like the bad guy from each end. Even though you are just trying to help they might not see it that way later on. Your mom is wrong for doing this to your father but maybe they should work it out on their own. Just a suggestion... what is met to be will be. Good luck, Im sorry you're put in this position.
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 11:37 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Although I agree that it's not your fault, I wouldn't let either of your parents involve you.....don't tell your dad things about your mom, and if he asks, you need to tell him that they're both your parents and that they need to leave you out of it, if your mom tries to tell you what she's doing....tell her, I'm not the right person to talk to about this.

    They need to leave you out of this, and not put you in the middle. My parents tried to do this as well when I was in my 20's. I'm in my 40's now, and hope I never put my kids in this position.

    Good Luck.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:55 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • no..my mom pulled me in the middle when she told me about the other man and her talking....my dad just asked if i was getting a weird vibe from her like he was.

    my dad isn't usually a jealous person but i can see that he is hurt and he dosen't even know about her talking to the other man. he was in tears last night and told me he was moving out today
    josiesmommy00

    Comment by josiesmommy00 (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • i know you love your mom & your dad but if your mom is cheating on your dad you should tell him your dad dont deserve to get hurt & no it is not your fault it is your moms fault for putting your dad threw this
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:09 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I try to stay out other peoples relationships family included I learned my lesson....
    Truelove77

    Answer by Truelove77 at 12:10 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • No one can "pull" you into something unless you allow them to. Did you ever say, "this is for you and mom to work out"? or "Please leave me out of this"? You are not responsible for your actions, however it is your responsibility to stay out of it.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:13 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • When I was 14 I babysat for a woman while she was separated from her husband. She and her husband were supposed to be trying to work things out, but she was not very discreet. When the husband came home some months later and asked me if I had seen anything I told the truth... that a man had escorted her home, stumbling drunk from the bar once and that a few days later his truck had been parked in the driveway but left before I arrived. The woman hated me for telling her husband what I had seen. Worse, I had a crush on the dad's son (he was in my class lol)... it was bad.

    I learned from that that honesty is not ALWAYS the best policy. Sometimes "I'm staying out of it" is the correct answer. But since you're already involved, telling both of them that you're sorry you got in the middle and you're taking a step back might mitigate the damage.

    Good luck.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:15 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

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