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6 Bumps

I just found out my husband is having an affair! What do I do? I want in.

I have been married for 13 years and my husband just announce that he's ahving an affair and wants a divorce. I am a stay at home mom of an 11 year old boy and am devastated. We are older parents, too,...me 57 and him 63. Help!

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Massmama477

Asked by Massmama477 at 1:59 PM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • OMG.. that's real nice of him.. I would get a divorce.. and take half his stuff.. that way you won't be out on your ass! I'm sorry..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:59 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Counseling, first stop. And start making plans for the distinct possibility that counseling may not save your marriage.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:00 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • 13 yrs...you can collect alimony and child support. Go see a lawyer right away.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:01 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Stop and think. Decide what you want. Take it real slow.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:01 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • If he is asking for a divorce, let him file for one. You have given him 13 years of your life and a child, let the divorce be the last thing you ever give him. I agree, contact a lawyer I'm sure you're entitled to half of everything, and most definitely child support. Good luck
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 2:03 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • From my experience in this area. Here's how I would handle this. Not telling you do do this, this is simply and stricly what I would do.l

    If my husband (and I'm older as well, 48 married 25 years), pulled that.. I would divorce him. I would say "Fine, I will contact a lawyer and begin drawing up the papers".. Here's why.. If my husband were so sprung and caught up in the affair, that he had already decided he wanted a divorce. Then there would be nothing I could say or do, that he would be willingly listen to at this point. Why? Because he would be to caught up in his "maybe's" , "Mights", and new relationship. My reality, and the reality of our life together & our marriage, wouldn't matter to him at this point.. HOWEVER.. Once he lost everything he had, he would see reality, and find out that maybe, just maybe, that grass wasn't all it was cut out to be. And well. That would be his new grass to live with and deal with.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:03 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • my parents got divorced when i turned 8. the older the kids are the worse for them because they noe the father is in the wrong. just divorce him and take half but dnt just take our thoughts take into consideration yours as well as your childs feelings. a divorce is a big step and certain steps need to be taken to ensure everyone dosent do something they'll regret. but my up most apologise
    lilyoungmom2b

    Answer by lilyoungmom2b at 2:04 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I would immediately begin filing for a divorce myself. I have the feeling, that as soon as I got the ball rolling. Divorce wouldn't be looking so great. Because I can and would (thank you post nuptial agreement.. lol) take my husband for everything he has/we have, and I would receive alimony for the rest of my days.. And I would sit and laugh at him for blowing and losing what all he did, for something so stupid. Because I know from experience, that the reality of life & a relationship, are very different from what an affair relationship consist of in most cases.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Get the divorce for sure. Just worry about taking care of yourself and your son and worry about nothing else! Good Luck
    jaja202

    Answer by jaja202 at 2:06 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I have no experience in this area, and don't really want to give advice to you as I don't know what I would really do. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I wish you and your son luck. In all honesty though I would be tempted to castrate him.
    MountainMomma3

    Answer by MountainMomma3 at 2:13 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

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