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How do you tell someone their kids are out of control?

My problem is by BF neice comes over with her 3 kids and doesn't watch them. They destroy my house! I want to talk to her about it because I want them to come over because she is close to my BF.

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brimarie8

Asked by brimarie8 at 11:02 PM on Oct. 26, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • I think you should talk to you bf and let him know how you feel, it he doesn't already know and agree with you. Then see if he'll talk to her. But to be honest I don't think it'll do alot of good to tell someone their kids are out of control. Usually people like that really already know and don't want to change it, they made the kids the way they are. They apparently choose to do that. So you or your bf saying something to them isn't going to help. I have some pretty routey grandkids, and all I can do is have certain areas off limits, and try to have some planned activity for them to do. Try to limit their visits. You could gently add one or two rules, and let their mother and the kids know these are house rules and must be obeyed by everyone. But you can't come at them with too many just maybe 2 or 3. Good Luck!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:12 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Tell her what's up. It's your home. You have rules. Tell her you expect her to control her children or give you permission to do so if she doesn't know how. Some parents have no clue as to how to control children and need guidance. Be specific on what they are doing that you don't want them doing. She may have no idea what you are talking about so give examples and it might help if you tell her how you want her to handle it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:13 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Your house... your rules. Take to your BF about it and when they come over let her know what they can and cannot do. Such as, you can say "okay, it's time for everyone to pick up their toys."
    Moonlite_Angel

    Answer by Moonlite_Angel at 11:50 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • This is dangerous territory. I noticed very quickly that everyone elses Angels are Brats and my Brats are Angels. ;) Usually, your kids aren't perfect either -- but they know what you will and will not put up with. Ten dollars says she goes home and has her opinions about something you let your kids do too... (Her children are SO SASSY I would never let my kids talk to me that way.. etc etc) Just be prepared for some blow back if you step on her toes and make her feel like you're judging her kids or her parenting. What I do, when a friend of mine comes over, I restate the rules to my kids -- "We don't throw toys, put back whatever you're not playing with, no food in the living room." Etc. Then you're indirectly laying down the law with her kids too...
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 11:51 PM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • Tell her. That is your home...it is her job to watch her kids...not yours. I had a friend that did this...made me nuts. I just finally told her as honestly and civil as I could that I would appreciate her keeping her kids out of trouble when she was over.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:50 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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