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Recently pregnant by a married man

I was in a relationship with a married man (to another woman). During the relationship, I had gotten pregnant. But because of his request, I got an abortion. I am currently depression over the whole mess. Just last week, there was a picnic. The man and his wife were prancing infront of me like two high school teenagers in lust. I had to leave early. I cannot leave the area for another year because of work. How can I get over this depression? And, how do I tell the man to be more sympathetic (I feel that I was too nice to him - and got kicked in the teeth)? Help!!

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BlueSaphire

Asked by BlueSaphire at 8:04 PM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,698 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Get some self help books or therapy and work on your self esteem issues.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:06 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Try to move on and resolve to date no more married men. Men like that who cheat are looking for sex only. They rarely leave their spouse. Even if you had kept the baby he probably would have been a slime about the whole thing. If you feel like counseling will help go. Abortion is a really tough choice for most women. It is only afterward that the real degree of difficulty and grief come in to play.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:09 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • You don't need to be speaking to the married man for one..
    And you need to seek professional help if your depression is getting too severe.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 8:10 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I'm sorry about this-

    I feel for you, I hope things get better.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:11 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • dark chocolate can help. hang with some friends. excercise can help. writing your feelings down. those are just a few suggestions. and don't be afraid to cry if you hold it in it can cause physical health problems. after my mother died when i was ten i went a year without crying or letting it out and i ended up in the emergency room two times one because i couldn't breath and another for extreme pain and stiffness in my neck and they ran many many test and never could find anything wrong. I am soooo sry you were put in that situation but i hope it helps if you don't have any friends to talk to you can hit me up and just vent if you need too.
    iluvmymomasboys

    Answer by iluvmymomasboys at 8:11 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • if it's any consolation, that woman who thinks her husband is so into her is actually getting the wool pulled over her eyes obviously.
    it always gets me how women actually believe that their marriage is 'stronger than ever' after something like that.
    up to them if they want to stay married and all, but it's never going to be stronger in my book.

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:14 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Well... I'm sorry for your depression, that's very understandable.
    HOWEVER
    You (obviously) messed around with a married man.
    You (obviously) had unprotected sex with a married man...
    What did you expect?
    If he is willing to be so shady and messed up to his WIFE, what made you think he'd treat you so much better?
    I'm sorry for your (chosen) loss, but YOU put yourself in your situation, nobody else.
    You chose to sleep with him (unprotected)
    You chose to let a douche bag influence you into the decision you made.
    What advice could you possibly want?
    SimplyMadness

    Answer by SimplyMadness at 8:14 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • One stay away from him, let it be over & over for good. He doesn't love you, you are just a play thing. Two, let the wife know if you have proof to back it up. She needs to know what a whore her hubby is... Hang out with friends, shop, talk to someone.... Do things that you feel like doing. Stay away from him...... ITs the only way you'll start to heal. Its going to be hard, its going to suck. BUt you have to pick up the pieces & move on.... Don't let him win.... By doing what he wants you to do, it shows that he has total control over him.


    as for the abortion, I really do not know what to say. Ive never been in that place. I guess talkign to someone about it will help alot. Also understand you made that choice for a reason & you have to live with the way you feel. Im not putting you down just stating facts. Its not going to be easy, but you have to move on. Mourn the loss, & move on.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:18 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • first i like to say sorry but the truth may hurt a little and i talk from experience,you knew what could happen and something did you also had a choice and you made it good or bad you have choices life can be what you make of it.it could be sweet or sour you decide. I would pull myself up and turn to god and pray to be forgiven and iam sure you will and never make that mistake again cause someday it may be you husband.
    dawn1644

    Answer by dawn1644 at 8:38 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I agree 100% with SimplyMadness.....what did you really expect?
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 8:47 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

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