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3 Bumps

when do you thank its ok to start dating again when your loved one dies?

Its been almost a year since he died someone asked me and I almost said yes but declined instead?

 
peace013

Asked by peace013 at 8:43 PM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,054 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must go through not only back then, but now on a daily basis - including this very question.

    I think the answer is that there is no right answer. Maybe you'll give it a try and it won't work out and that's okay. Maybe you'll try and it will be great and that's okay too. It's even okay if you just don't think you're ready. The important thing it to be honest with yourself, and to be honest with who ever you finally decide to go out with. There is no rule book on this subject.

    I wish you all the best no matter where you end up.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:59 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • When you feel that you are ready ... provided you have allowed yourself time to grieve, permission to actively mourn, and when you've moved through all of the whys and the whats of the healing process and learned how to reconcile your grief. Reconciliation is what occurs when one integrates the new reality of moving forward. It is not an indicator that one is done grieving - the grief journey never ends. You never "get over" the love of your life. Feelings of loss will not completely disappear, yet home for a continued life will emerge.
    kateandjona

    Answer by kateandjona at 9:06 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • whenever you feel ready. It is potentially unhealthy to jump into anything immediately following, but I would say a year is plenty of time as long as you are ready to (not let go) but move on.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 8:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • It is different for each person. Some are ready within a few months, some take years, some not at all. You have to decide when you are comfortable and no one else can do that for you. Go slow and don't do anything you are not comfortable with.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • As for me i have to agree with butterflyblue19..
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 8:52 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • You date when you are ready. There is no time line for grief. You said you wanted to say yes, call him back and say you changed your mind. GL to you.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • If my husband died I'd never date again. I could never love anyone again if I lost him.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Whenever you feel ready. If youre questioning it then it appears you arent ready to date :)
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • i think that is up to you. no one can tell you the right time because everyone is different. and if and when you are ready don't let anyone discourage you telling you that it is too soon. that is all up to you. I am beyond sorry and have no clue how you feel. I hope you find someone who will be there for you and understand. my best wishes!!!!
    iluvmymomasboys

    Answer by iluvmymomasboys at 8:52 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Only time will tell when you are ready. I'd say since you almost said yes it is possible you are getting there. It is always going to be different for everyone. I know it's not easy to lose someone. I think that a year is enough time but I am not the one going through it. It's never to late too change your mind. Maybe you can tell him you thought about it. I am sure he will understand the hesitation. Good Luck and I am sorry you lost your husband.
    momofangels5

    Answer by momofangels5 at 9:00 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

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