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Who handles your family issues?

Let me be more clear. If your family says or does something, who's job is it to address it? Do you address your family and DH/SO address theirs? That's how me and SO decided to go about things but lately I don't feel he's getting the results I want so I'm ready to step in. Like for instance we don't spank our children so no one else should. We made that very clear. But still his mom and sister feel that if they are watching the kids they can spank. Uh, hell no. So he's addressed it because my boys do tell. But we keep running into thisproblem and I'm ready to say f the rules if you can't control your family I will. Another issue is how his mom will cuddle bathe and feed the oldest but not my youngest son she plays favoritism. His dad has evenconfronted her on it but still no change. So I'm asking you moms. Do you think I should try to let him deal with his family or should I?

Answer Question
 
reigndrops12689

Asked by reigndrops12689 at 9:13 PM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,137 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Thank God I don't have to deal with my ex husband's family. He would let them treat me like crap & when I addressed it they would all gang up on me including him!!
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 9:18 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • You should, they're your family now too... In order for them to earn your respect their going to have to listen to you when it comes to your kids...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:19 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I deal with everyone and everything. He's just along for the ride.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 9:29 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I don't have this issue. My dad, MIL and FIL are all deceased. My mom only visits once a year as she lives 600 miles from us. The 600 miles was so that we didn't have to deal with family members thinking they knew better than we do how to raise our kids. If you so not spank, then either they don't spank you kids, or they don't see your kids. Remind them that you have 2 equal and loving children, it they want to play favorites then they can do it with someone else kids.
    Bagofwind

    Answer by Bagofwind at 9:34 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • you should say something only for the fact that once it does come from your mouth it is more serious but other then that they really are showing no respect for you or your SO... i to had to deal with the same problem in not only with my SO imidiate family but also other family members with his which has pretty much put me in the bind of not wanted nothing to do with them or even having my son around them for the fact that not only do they have any right to treat or talk to my son with disrespect but neither me or his father... but with my the in laws it got worse before it got better that's for sure... as perents we have ways of raising our own kids... i strongly believe that if our perents had their time and there ways when they raised us now it's ours... so they need to step back and just enjoy the ride.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 9:54 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • Sounds like they are telling you they will not respect your rules and wishes. He has told her once. You really cannot control another adult. Once you tell them what you expect and they break the rules, you have the power to not let it happen again by not letting them go over there alone until they can abide by your rules for your child. When one of my own parents told me to my face that they would do something both me and my DH strongly disagree with we chose to never leave them over there alone again. I will not argue with family over my rules for my kids. If they want things to change then they know what they need to do.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 12:41 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • DH and I have always and always will approach family together as one...we married and became one so we do everything like that as one...it's better because then they see you are both on the same page and neither side can blame the other spouse of being mean or nasty to the family.
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 3:00 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

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