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I have a 4 y/o son and i am 6 months pregnant. My husband is a US marine and is currently in Afganistan. when he left he told our son to "take acre of mommy because he was now the man of the house". now my son tries to do everything for me and I feel bad because I feel like he's missing out on his childhood. How can I convince him that I can do things on my own and he doesn't always have to help?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • Ahhh, try doing things together with him....then he is helping his mommy And you feel like you are doing it, but yet at the same time teaching and nurtuting him. My oldest will be 3 and 4 and the youngest 2 and 3 this upcoming deployment. It's hard. My oldest now is 2 and daddy is gone about all month, maybe home a few days to 5 days. There was a 4 month period where daddy wasn't around at all, then when he started coming back and leaving, the 2 yr figured out Hey, this is my daddy, where's daddy?....but they adjust and grow up just fine. You have to be a strong woman to be a military wife!

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 10:14 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • just give him a break down list on things he can do to help mommie and tell him the things only you can do and make him a schedule and put playtime in there. always thx him for his work and try to find a balance of lettin him help and be a kid

    Answer by mekarevell at 10:27 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • I agree with giving him a list of things that mommy needs help with. Things that "Daddy would do" even if it's a silly list that daddy didn't do. Just allow him something to be in control of, but not enough to get in the way of being a kid.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:58 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • awww it's so cute that he took his dad's advice so seriously.

    How about you "order" him to play. Play a drill master type game with him like what his dad does. Just toddler style.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:33 PM on Oct. 11, 2010

  • that is sweet. i dont know if you can change it, my sons seem to be the say way,, sometimes i have to remind them its ok i can do it ,,, i'll let you know when i need your help,,

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 8:46 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • That is just the sweetest thing I've ever heard.  Wish my kids were like that.  My husband moved away for his job when I was 6 months pregnant with my 5th.  He told the kids they needed to behave and help me while he was gone.  They did the exact opposite and made my life hell for the 3 months he was gone (until the birth of the baby).  Only my 7yo helped me in the least.  I don't know what I would have done without her the last month.

    I would just tell him that you appreciate how much he is helping but he doesn't have to do everything.  Let him pick 1 or 2 chores he WANTS to do for you and then tell him you'll do the rest.  My 7yo surprises me by WANTING to do more for me.  She insists I go rest and she will finish cleaning the kitchen.  She likes to do it (she's just so sweet).


    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:26 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • First of all let me tell you that your boy is the sweetest thing ever...i'm touched that he is trying so hard to be the man of the house. i believe your husband did not thing that he would take it so seriously when he said that to him. he is not missing out on his childhood, he is learning responsibility. Just make sure you do things with him were he can enjoy being a kid, like play date or playground etc.
    and a to do list.....that some have already suggested is another great idea. break down his choirs in detail, meaning giving him a big list but not heavy work of course, little things you want him to do and he thinks he has a lot to take care of because the list is so long...(lil'trick i used with my son)
    Don't worry too much..he will be fine. next time you get a chance to talk to your husband you might want to tell him about this and encourage him to tell your son to ease up a bit on the responsibility

    Answer by Ladyblue38 at 12:27 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • aww, let him help as much as he wants, it will help him deal with his daddy being gone! Just do things with him as opposed to only him dong them, and give rewards for doing such a great job, as a military wife and mother of 5, I knwo the struggle of deployments,, and if you inssit that he does not do theses things he may feel like he let daddy down, and you really dont want that!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 3:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • This must be a guy thing, and I believe your DH had no malice when he said it...but he should not have. That is a lot to place on the shoulders of a little guy. Now you have him, so you can "deprogram" him if you will. Tell him daddy meant to snuggle with you and give you lots of kisses and hugs, but to also be good and play and have fun, so mommy is happy.

    Answer by salexander at 9:30 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Sounds like you have an amazing little boy! Maybe tell him that he doesn't have to do everything, but that he can be your little helper with some things. Little ones like to help out with little things around the house anyways....makes them feel like "big kids". Good luck!

    PS.....Tell your DH "Thank You" for me, for what he does for our country.american flag ribbon


    Answer by HaydensMama07 at 2:40 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

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