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Responsibilities around the house..

I came on my wifes profile to ask this question about our relationship. We have been married for a little over 2 years and we have a daughter together. We are still renting an apartment until we can save up money to buy our own house. My wife has never been the type of person to get excited or even want to clean. It's not that she's lazy, she does stuff. Its just I cant get her motivated to want to clean around the house. She likes to organize things and has good intentions but doesn't always finish them. Also I know she has plans to do this and this to clean up the house, but doesn't always follow through. And it usually ends up in an argument. What can I do to fix this? Please help, with all of this going on we dont have time for eachother anymore, and its hurting our relationship..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • help her do the cleaning!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • just tell her how you fell and the u like the house clean and help her clean it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Ditto. Help her out. Being a stay at home mom is as easy as it seems
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 12:27 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Ok I ment it is not as easy as it seems....SEE
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 12:29 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I am kind of the same way. Except I go crazy in a dirty house!!! So I have to clean. Maybe you could divide up the chores. My husband (is supposed to) cleans the bathroom every other week, helps with the dinner dishes, and cleans his own dishes sometimes. I know I get overwelmed with housework sometimes. I got a calender that hangs on the fridge. At the beging of each week I pick a day to clean the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, and do the laundry. This way I feel like it is ok to have a dirty stove because it will be cleaned on Tuesday or whatever. I do regular pick up, dishes, a little laundry, and things that need to be done everyday. It just helps to break up the bigger chores.

    Maybe for Christmas you should get her 6 months of maid service. lol I would love that.
    Good luck!
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 12:31 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Help her out. Maybe she is dealing with some depression. Being a stay at home mom is hard work and I often find myself a bit depressed. Make her dinner some nights, do the dishes once in a while. Don't put all of the stress on her to get all of the cleaning done. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean that she should be excited about cleaning. Cleaning sucks and I'm sure you hate it just as much as she does. My house isn't always messy but it is the best that I can do and if my dh doesn't like it - oh well. God gave you two hands as well.
    nightwillow

    Answer by nightwillow at 12:33 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Thats it I want maid service for 6 months too
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 12:36 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I know! How do you drop that hint?
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 12:50 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Well, I can see why that would be frustrating, but she has probably always been like that. Some people are more motivated to clean than others, and it's not likely that she's changed. Perhaps you just didn't notice this facet of her personality. Don't try to change her, that's probably what's starting the arguments. If you really, really need to be in a clean house that badly...clean it up :) This sounds more like a compatibility issue than a cleaning issue, IMO. And cleaning with a 2 year old in the house is not always do-able.
    evilday

    Answer by evilday at 1:02 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • First off, it is hard to clean. I mean hard physically. If she is able to clean then fine, but is it possible that she can't do the physical scrubbing? Maybe if she does the picking up you can help with the harder stuff.
    Also creating a control journal together may be something that works for you both. Try www.flylady.net Above all, continue to be supportive. It is possible that she has adult ADD also and has trouble focusing and finishing things. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:20 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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