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Have you ever...

If your SO or DH has a kid but not with you and lives with the mom and you guys are having your first baby have you ever been scared that he wont love your baby as much as he loves the one that lives with the mom? Me and my DH are having a baby together and he has a beautiful little girl back home and he loves her so much and talks all the time about her and i am so scared he will treat our babie different and not love it as much.... Am i crazy? He says that he will but i am really scared... this is all new to me

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Navymommy1

Asked by Navymommy1 at 12:43 AM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (272 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I don't think so i have 3 kids and 2 diff. fathers and i still love each child equally. i think it will be the same if not he will be closer to your child because he will be spending more time with it.
    iluvmymomasboys

    Answer by iluvmymomasboys at 12:48 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I really hope so i am really scared that he wont
    Navymommy1

    Comment by Navymommy1 (original poster) at 12:48 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I think every baby is treated different and thats not a bad thing! He talks about her all of the time because that is what he has. As for the not loving as much... I dont see how that is going to happen. Let him love your child and he will.
    seturkey

    Answer by seturkey at 12:48 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • You ladies are diffenitly making me feel alot better.... We live in washington and his daughter lives in Ohio and we want to try to get custody of her but dont know how that will turn out.... I want him to love our baby just the same... I think its cause i am new at this and i see how he talks to his little girl and how he treats her and i really want the same for ours...
    Navymommy1

    Comment by Navymommy1 (original poster) at 12:51 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I have the same fear. I am sure it is irrational, but I have it too.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:53 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Don't worry he'll love his new baby just as much as he loves his daughter. You also have to look at it like this... he's with you . He hasn't left you while your pregnant. And I know that we can be hard to deal with on an daily bases. But we're a handful while we're pregnant. Don't worry about it so much. He'll be counting the fingers and toes before you have the chance too. Congrats and try to relax alittle. Good Luck!!!
    TwannaB.

    Answer by TwannaB. at 12:59 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I'm sure your child will be loved too especially since he still loves and treats his child good despite not being with the mother. That is a good sign.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 3:27 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • don't try and take his daughter away from her mother unless the child isn't being loved and taken care of, that the worst thing you could do to that little girl and imagine how it would make her and her mom feel!!!!
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 8:01 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I went through this (kinda) a few years ago. My husband has a son from a previous marriage (he's now 11). My husband didn't want to have anymore kids after his son because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to love our child as much as his son. A friend of ours talked to him about how much it hurt me that he didn't want any kids with me. He changed his mind during our engagement, apologizing for making me go through that heartache. If anything, once we started trying, we were worried how his son would take it. We didn't want him to think that Dad was replacing him. I'm not sure what he said to his son, but, by the end of the conversation, his son asked, "Can I have a brother?" We laughed. He now has a sister he absolutely adores. My husband has done a pretty good job with his love of both of his children. I'd say he adjusted rather well.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:49 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Forgot to mention that my daughter is almost 4. They love and adore each other so much and my husband has been an amazing father to both.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:50 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

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