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How do I get my relationship back with my boyfriend?

We have been together seven years and that spark seems to have died out. I remember times, good times, that we had and I smile and think . . . that was a different person. Where is that person?? Where did he go? Why can't I see the person I fell in love with all those years ago? Is it time to separate? Do I love this man anymore? Do I really want to go my whole life without having that feeling of immense love anymore? I'm just sad for what I no longer have. I want it back. I want love and romance back instead of fighting over dirty diapers and laundry. I need to feel loved again because I most certainly do not love myself after having a baby. It's a very loaded question without a single answer and I just don't have anyone else to turn to anymore. Because at the end of the day instead of feeling like I have him - I feel like I only have myself.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Well..... you pretty much sumed it up in one phrase. "I don't like myself after I had the baby" Have you ever stepped back and thought maybe that may be why you're feelings have changed. Women, or at least I, have probelms when I was having problems with myself. You have to feel good about yourself b/f you can love someone else completely. It could also b/c your comfortable. Comfort is often confused with being bored or no longer in love
    alaskaice

    Answer by alaskaice at 1:30 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • What i think you have is the 7 year itch. Date your hubby! If possible, let someone babysit the kids while you go out like you once did. Tell him you love him whenever you feel like it. Let him know he is wanted and he will probably do the same to you. And also, ask him if he's happy. Don't be accusing, just ask as if you were just wondering. If he asks why, say its because you love and care about how he feels. Just remember to do things that you once did when you didn't have kids! good luck!
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 1:18 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • you might consider a program such as Marriage Encounter (even thoguh you're not married) to remind yourself of what you've forgotten.

    You're really not unusual. Thhis happens to all of us who've been together for a long time. Nearly 20 years with my husband now and I get this feeling every few years.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:50 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I am a Pure Romance consultant and I have helped women in the same situations. I agree you need a night out or in without the kids! I sell products that have helped women get that spark back and it has even helped me with my own! Message me if you want.
    mrsmilander

    Answer by mrsmilander at 10:18 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Welcome to the 7 yr ache. This is totally normal. I know this is totally corny but listen or just look up the lyrics to the song The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of by Carly Simon. They helped me. I think if you are not your favorite person right now since the baby...this is your issue not his. Marriage is for better or worse and I think as long as there is no abuse or anything drastic going on you should stick it out. My Grandparents have been married 68 yrs. What a testimony! However, my Grandmaw tells me there has been more than a few times when she wanted to ram an egg beater down his wind pipe! That gooey feeling does not last forever...marriage is work. Keep it fresh...go on a "date" once in awhile...you will get through the dry spells.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:32 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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