Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


Ok, I am still young and I have a young child. I am with a new partner and I got tested about two years ago for STDs and will be getting tested the first of Nov. My partner now is accusing me of having something and keeps riding my rear about it. And I have dry skin in the winter months and have a rash/chafing that occurs with it. And he thinks that its something. I dont know what to do anymore. I am tired of being accused of having something and there is no evidence to support it. What should I do?!?!

Answer Question

Asked by tncalhoon at 9:12 AM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (82 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • He could be the guilty one here. Maybe HE has an STD& is accusing you of having it to save his face for not being open with you about it.

    This happenned to my ex. After him & i split, he was dating a chick. She hept accusing him of having warts, even though he did not have them. We were together for a long time & knew for fact that we were both STD free, i am still STD free 5 years after we i KNOW he didn't have anything. Anyhow, yep...he now has warts! He found out by her ex boyfriend that she did infact have genital warts. She probably had them frozen off, because he said he never saw any. Anyhow, she accused him of having it in fear that he'd find out she has it. This way, she could try to put the blame on him, saying he gave it to her... not the other way around. Make him get tested first...see how he reacts to that. If he doesn't want to, that is a HUGE red flag...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:22 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Dry/Itchy skin with chaffing is normal for the winter months. I don't understand why your new partner is being such an ass about it. A LOT of people who DON'T have anything get this skin condition during winter.

    I would try and brush it off until you get your test results. When they come back negative, shove it in his face and tell him he was being an ass for nothing. Also tell him that you won't speak to him until he's ready to talk to you like an adult as opposed to a child with trust/security issues.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:24 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Also, the fact that he is accusing you of an STD for having dry skin is just so messed up. I would tell him to fuck off. I honestly think that he might be scared he has something, but is too much of a pussy to admit it to you.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:25 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Tell him you need to go have weekly massages at a local spa for skin care.

    Answer by MSugarKane at 9:25 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • He gets tested reguarlly and showed me his papers from the health dept and everything was negative. And yes I know its normal. I have had it since I was a little girl. If it was an STD it would have been caught when I was pregnant with my little girl. And I told him to stay away from me til I got tested just so he doesnt sit there and accuse me of stuff. And yeah going to the spa every week sounds nice but cant afford. Might look into home spa kits......

    Comment by tncalhoon (original poster) at 9:33 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Ok, if you two are together, and committed to each other, and have decided to be together as a family and such, why is he getting tested regularly? Why wouldn't he just accept the clean test from when you two first got together or right before or whatever? Why does he feel the need to continue testing? I'm just saying...

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 9:45 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • He is a germ a phob. And he does take it to the extreme. And I believe it is also becuase I havent got tested since I was pregnant and since we are new partners he wants to know that he doesnt get anything. But I dont know anymore. This is the first time this has happened to me.

    Comment by tncalhoon (original poster) at 9:48 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Personally, I'd get a test and share the negative results with him while I'm kicking him to the curb. I wouldn't put up with that in any kind of a relationship.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 10:01 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Yeah thats what I was thinking. But my test isnt til Nov 3rd. So I still got to wait to do the test then have to wait for the results. Its the first time I have ever had this happen to me and I am kind of in shock.

    Comment by tncalhoon (original poster) at 10:05 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I don't think I'd wait until the 3rd to let him go! Tell him that you'll fax a copy if he's really interested, but that you're not interested in a relationship with someone so paranoid, demanding and pushy.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 10:10 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.