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6 Bumps

Where do I go next after finding that my husband has had an affair???

I just don't know what to do next. Has anyone been through this confusion too? I love him and we have a wonderful family, but I don't want to tolerate infidelity. I need answers!

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MotivatingMama

Asked by MotivatingMama at 11:13 AM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (52)
  • I wanna know how you found out... then I will ask the same question. Good luck
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 11:15 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • D-I-V-O-R-C-E
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:15 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Next step would be DIVORCE!!
    I'd leave his butt. I don't tolerate that, never have, never will.
    My husband's ex-wife cheated, as did my ex. We both ended in divorce. We tried to make things work, but you can never get over it. It will always lead to fights and never have any more trust. Ever.
    AtHomeMommy-3

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 11:16 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Only you can answer if it's worth trying to salvege the relationship. Cheating doesn't have to mean the end, sometimes it really is just a stupid mistake. But if it's more than just a stupid mistake, or if you feel like you can never forgive him, then it's time to move on.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:17 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • where to you go? I say to the lawyers office, to counseling alone to help you deal with it all, then out the door. not nessicarily in that order.
    Don't kid yourself dear. not proud of it, I've been a mistress a few times when I was younger. Don't kid yourself into thinking that he wasn't really into her, or that when he was with her he was thinking of how much he loved you.
    that was part of the appeal, no one could pay you attention like a married man-
    I've got lots of guy pals too, and I heard it many times, just how great the mistress was, going on how she'd do things the wife wouldn't, and on and on.

    hate to be brutal, but a man that cheats is a man that cheats.
    who wants to keep a man around that doesn't appreciate you for the great woman you are? who wants to live with a man wondeing if he'll do it again?
    and often they do! they just get much more careful to not be caught again!
    get counseling to help choose GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • thanks everyone for the quick responses. i appreciate this site because i get the most honest answers! i just found this webinar about getting through infidelity. i think i might try it. has anyone ever done a webinar?
    MotivatingMama

    Comment by MotivatingMama (original poster) at 11:31 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • You go to him and talk about it. If you are sure that can't go thru that then divorce him and be happy.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 11:36 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Well, if you feel that he is remorseful enough to rebuild trust and work on your relationship (yes, he HAS to do this, not just you), then it's up to you if you can salvage the marriage. If you don't feel that it is working if you try it, then there is no marriage. Sorry you're going through this.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:38 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • you confront your cheating husband - and NOW - ask him about what you have heard - believe me, a woman can tell when her husband is lying - is he is, then you will have to decide if the both of you want to keep this marriage together - in which case, you will need marriage counseling and you will need to learn how to forgive him - you will both have to work on it - for a long, long time - if he prefers the other woman, the marriage might be over - but, i feel, once a cheater, always a cheater - i'm sorry for you - you have my deepest empathy...
    kaysimon132461

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 11:38 AM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • You forst have a sit down with him & ask him what he wants.Because now you will have tremendous trust issues.And then you seek counseling.If he doesn't go,then you ned to go.I'am so sorry.But don't give up before the miracle happens.Good luck sweetheart!
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 12:37 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

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