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Do you feel SAHMs are less deserving because they choose to stay home and not earn money for their family?

I get so depressed reading responses on this site. A lot of people seem to feel a SAHM has absolutely no right to complain about anything because they either chose to stay home (so why are they whining about being with the kids all day) or they should be worshiping their husbands who work so hard so they can stay home.

I'm made to feel like I'm worthless and less deserving of...just about everything because I don't earn a paycheck. There used to be a time with SAHMs were respected for the work they did, now we are looked down on because we're not "contributing" to the family financially and we're not allowed to be unsatisfied with our lives.
I get the impression from people here that my husband is more deserving of breaks and leniency because he earns money and I don't.

Answer Question
 
justanotherjen

Asked by justanotherjen at 11:57 AM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
Answers (55)
  • I work full time and this weekend I had a 4 day weekend. A true vacation for me. I have said a MILLION times that I would love to be a SAHM, and I would, but I will honestly tell you I looked forward to coming to work today to get a break from being at home. Working at home is often WAY harder than working at work. I give you tons of credit, as long as your not stay at home poor pitiful me mom. I know a couple like that and they are horrid. But taking care of your house, kids and husband is a very difficult job.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 12:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • As a working mom I'm made to feel like a "bad mother" who should be spending more time with her children, even though I now work full time at home, and now it's become "well you still don't work as hard as a SAHM". No matter what we do we will always be made to feel, from someone, that we are inferior. We are all doing our best for our kids. We are all great mothers and deserving of everything. Those that put us down are just desperate to feel superior for some reason.
    MissAlisabeth

    Answer by MissAlisabeth at 12:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • A stay-at-home-mom has a full time job - one that she never gets a break from. It's hard work to be the manager of the home, meals, finances, and children. It's difficult and rewarding - and special. I think many work-outside-the-home moms can become jealous if they aren't able to stay at home with their families. Nonetheless - it's a hard job - but the best one!
    Melissa823

    Answer by Melissa823 at 12:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Neither side can really complain about a choice they made. both sides have struggles. They are just different struggles.  What is sad is that some parents can't respect another families choices or accept their necessities.  Some parents have no choice someone needs to stay home because specialized care is expensive and they may struggle on one income.  Some parents both err working because they have to to stay afloat but they may struggle because they miss their children. No one situation should be belittled even by comparison.  You don't ever know the whole story/.

    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:02 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • The SAHM's I know work harder then anyone who has a 9-5 job and are more deserving IMO. You don't have to earn a paycheck to be a great contributor to your family! And you shouldn't be doubting your self worth. Be proud of your JOB as a SAHM...because that's what it is...a job! Don't let anyone tell your otherwise!
    motherofpearls

    Answer by motherofpearls at 12:03 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I've done both, and I honestly can say that I can not WAIT for the youngest to be in school full time (in a few months) so that I can get a BREAK at work! Being at home full time is a 24 hour job, without bonuses, breaks, or vacations... I know exactly where you are coming from. I perform manual labor all day, my SO sits at a desk, we're both equally tired at the end of the day, but in different ways.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:03 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • A SAHM may not be out earning money for her family, but at least she's at home taking care of her children. Making sure the house they live in isn't filthy and that they have food cooked for them to eat. I haven't worked since 2007 and I chose to become at SAHM. I could've worked, but I didn't want to. My mom stayed at home with me until I started school and I wanted to do the same with my DD. My DH and I just moved to a different state in January and we don't have any family or friends to babysit our daughter for us while I work and we didn't want to put her in a daycare. So we agreed I'd stay home. My DH makes enough money for me to be able to stay at home. Sure, there might be weeks where we live paycheck-to-paycheck but we get by. I chose this life and I'm so happy with my life. If people don't like it, they can kiss my you-know-what. People should worry about their own lives and not others.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 12:04 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Honey, I wish I could stay home with my kids! I think parenting is a full time job. It sucks that I have to go work outside the home. I think some people are just jealous. It doesn't mean you are less educated or you don't have your own problems. What's easier, taking care of your kids all day or paying someone to do it for you? People like different things, some want to stay home and some would rather be at work. You're lucky if you get to decide for yourself.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 12:04 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • A stay-at-home-mom has a full time job - one that she never gets a break from. It's hard work to be the manager of the home, meals, finances, and children. It's difficult and rewarding - and special. I think many work-outside-the-home moms can become jealous if they aren't able to stay at home with their families. Nonetheless - it's a hard job - but the best one!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Well I could care less what any woman on here thinks about me. Not everyone CHOOSES to be a SAHM... I am not able to work anymore, outside of the home anyway... that doesn't make me any less of a person!! I'm in school right now and when I am done, guess where I will be earning my paycheck? From my home!!!
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 12:04 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

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