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HELP! PLEASE PLEASE HELP!

MY MOTHER IN LAW IS THREATENING ME SAYING THAT IF I MOVE OUT OF HER HOUSE BECAUSE ME AND HER SON ARENT GETTING ALONG, SHE IS GOING TO KEEP MY SON THATS 4 MONTHS OLD.
SHE SAYS THAT SHE'LL WIN BECAUSE SHES MORE "FIT" TO BE A PARENT THAN I AM, ONLY BECAUSE SHE HAS HER OWN PLACE, OWN CAR, AND A STEADY JOB.
WHAT ARE THE LAWS IN CALIFORNIA ABOUT THIS SITUATION? CAN SHE DO THIS?
AND WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THE SITUATION? I WAS KICKED OUT OF MY GRANDMAS HOUSE WHEN SHE FOUND OUT I WAS PREGO AND WE HAVENT TALKED SINCE.
((ALSO, MY BF HAS A HABIT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WHEN WE ARGUE, SO I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD REASON TO LEAVE!)) IF IT HELPS ANY, IM 19 YRS OLD, GOING ON 20 SOON.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Oct. 27, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • You need to get a lawyer tomorrow. Call Legal Aid.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:42 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • well id go see a family lawyer and talk to them bout your situation,i strongly advised to leave your boyfriend as of violence,i was a victim of strong violence and though ive been out of relationship for 3months,my kids are still suffering,ive put a protection order,your gran has no law agaist your child as of her age will let her down,talk to the agincies that help with food,money and get yourself out of there.your child can feel the tension,and its number one person is too think of is you and your child.once an abuser always will be.apply for legal aid and youd be happy and the child will be stress free,your child maybe worrying about you,you take steps to get on rite track so will your child.this is personal experience,womens refuge helps hugely.
    cruizymum

    Answer by cruizymum at 5:11 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • this cruizymum,dont beat yourself down,cry if need be,and anger is normal.i was with an abusive violent man for 2years with 2 kids,i put my gaurd up for 6 months and then i kicked him out with support of police,family,friends and neighbours.your gran has nothing to do with your decisions,suggestions maybe.prove her wrong and tell her this is your life and your going to see a free lawyer thru legal aid and in my eyes it the mother and father that over rule the courts,present your case to family lawyer and theyll issue you with a protection order without notice.this is what i have done.i hope you feel better
    cruizymum

    Answer by cruizymum at 5:20 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • FRIST GO AND GET ALL THE INFORMATION YOU CAN FIND.LOOK IN THE PHONEBOOK IN THE BLUE SECTION.THERE SUCH BE ALOT OF HELP THERE.DO YOUR RESEARCH,ASK ALOT OF QUESTION.WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFOR YOU CALL ANYONE.TRY TO GET A TAPE RECORD AND TAPE EVERY CONVERSATION YOU HAVE WITH HIS MOTHER OR ALL THE THING SHE GOING TO DO TO YOU IF YOU LEAVE HER SON. DON'T LET THEM NO THAT YOU HAVE A TAPE RECORD.TURN THE TAPE ON WHEN HE IS ABUSE YOU WITH WORD.SEE IF THEY TRY TO TAKE YOU TO COURT ABOUT ANYTHING YOU WILL HAVE PROOF..................I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.
    grandmom155

    Answer by grandmom155 at 5:58 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • First of all you live in California so chances of that are slim to none, CA usually sides with the mother but you still need to protect yourself. Document everything then go get legal aid.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:01 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • trust me I have been through this im married again now but my first marriege sounds ALOT like yours NOBODY cantake your baby I can tell you for certain
    tdmag

    Answer by tdmag at 6:23 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • ha! call legal aid and write down EVERY TIME she threatens you, the timeline of domestic violence, keep this in a safe place, with a friend or something. There should be a domestic awareness group you can talk to as well who can help you make plans and get you in counseling. threats are the #1 way to keep a woman in an abusive situation. sounds like she taught her son well.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 7:24 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Unless she can prove you unfit, she cannot take your child. I agree with all the above responses, you need to call domestic violence, legal aid or social services and they will help you get out and get the custody process started.MY ex was abusive and my exMIL used to threaten to not only take my DS but that she would take him and leave the state, I spent years in fear of her taking off with my son during my ex's visitation. You can get through this and you and your child will be better for it.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:11 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • First of all the only way your mother in law can keep her, would be applying for guardianship. That takes months, and lots of money in court and lots of paperwork. Its not done overnight. And its very very difficult to achieve it. I would suggest for you to try to talk to your other relatives, and seeing if you could maybe live with them, for a little while. And start looking for a job and stuff like that. Plus don't worry about your mother in law, that is your child. And that is your number one priority. And you are second priority. Good luck I hope this helps.
    Reggie2

    Answer by Reggie2 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Just make sure you cover your tracks and delete any evidence on the computer if you are looking up lawyers and things. That is if he is computer savvy ... Good luck girl and stay strong forr you and your baby.. God bless
    CAJUNFLWR

    Answer by CAJUNFLWR at 11:20 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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