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I have a 6 month old daughter and she has choosen me as the parent to cling to and my husband gets so upset that he cannot soothe her, or at least that it takes 10 times longer for him than for me. I told him it is nothing personal and he said he knows but it is still upseting to him. What should I do?

I almost feel like she is making my husband and I compete and be less than civil at times.

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butterfly75000

Asked by butterfly75000 at 8:07 AM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Don't worry about it. My son was the exact same way when he was little. By the time he turned 10-11 months, he was all about his dad. He's 3 now and dad still can't leave without him crying. My daughter now is 9 months old and she's even starting to come out of it. You know after being in mom's tummy for so long, it's hard to find comfort with anyone else but her. You'll see, in the next few months, she'll fall in love with daddy. (P.S. Just to warn you, then YOU will be heart broken :0)
    dupreemommy

    Answer by dupreemommy at 8:12 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Children are always closer to their Mom, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the dad, it just is.You carried her for 9 months are with her alllllllllll the time and theres really nothing to do except let time help. he should pick her up when he can, spend time with her when he can, just do things,little things and she will get use to him being there when she wants something or not. I don't know many children that are closer to dad than Mom.You are Mom, thats it.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 8:15 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • have dad take one of your old tops or something with your smell on it and lay it across his shoulder. that should help.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:34 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Oh gosh, Lydia has done this with her Daddy. She wants HIM not me....so just tell your hubby that his day will come...and then he won't get any sleep because Baby will want HIM all the time. :)
    Emmy_Dollface

    Answer by Emmy_Dollface at 9:39 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I have 2 children, our first was like this, my DH would get upset too. I read somewhere that once the child realizes who provides for them, feeding,cleaning,new clothes, diaper changes, they depend on that parent more. My DH stepped it up with my son, it didn't make much of a change. Once he hit 2 he needed Dad as much as me. I'm not sure if its just cuz kids are different. With our 2nd child, he really put more of an effort into the little things. Bathing, changing, getting her in the night even if it was just to hand her to me to nurse. She has always wanted Daddy more. Even when she wakes up now, she wants Dad to deliver to me! If he's not doing the little things, maybe it will help. Ive heard from everyone I know, girls always want Dad more eventually. Good luck

    Kerinmomof2

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 9:52 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I'm not sure what you could do about it. But it's completely normal. My 4 year old only wants me when he gets hurt, or is sick. They just want mommy. I think it's because we are more comforting to them.
    isaacsmom2004

    Answer by isaacsmom2004 at 10:34 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • My daughter preferred her daddy from about 6 months on--and at 24, she is STILL a daddy's girl--but my close friend:-) Tell your husband to chill--it will change:-)  He was a lot more fun than me:-)  So tell him to give her a bit of time--and keep being there.  She is not rejecting him--she is only 6 months!
    We have a friend who suggested a book called, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, MD.  It made a big impact on him. (His daughter us 12.) He thought every dad should read it.  I haven't read it--but I would suggest your dh read a good book or two to "pass time" until he is the favored one:-)  Another good one is "What Kids Need Most in a Dad' by Tim Hansel.  So he will be more ready to be an emotional support to her--and not worry about her "rejection" of him!

    Ronnie80

    Answer by Ronnie80 at 10:36 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Now both my big boys will tell you proudly they are "Momma's Boys"!!!!
    Ronnie80

    Answer by Ronnie80 at 10:37 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Tell him this is completely normal right now. Compared to you, he is a big hairy scary creature with a booming voice who doesn't smell one bit like Mommy. But when she's mobile, it will be All Daddy All The Time, and I do mean ALL THE TIME. He'll go crazy becaue she won't leave him alone, and he'll miss the privacy he has now. The ALL DADDY stage tends to last for years, throughout preschool and todderlhood, while the All Mommy stage only lasts for this first year.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:46 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • My daughter di that for about 6 monts and she would not have anything to do with anyone but me. It is hard but it will get better. She will get over it and be a daddy's girl in the end. LOL
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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