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Is it wrong to ask?

If you meet someone with a child with obvious difficulties, is it okay to ask the parents/carer how much the child is able to understand you?

What do you think?


Asked by PinkLentil at 3:39 PM on Oct. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (546 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I would be happy if I had a special needs child and someone took the time to ask me how they needed to speak to them in order to be understood. It shows they care. Now, if it was phrased like "How much can your dumb kid understand?" I'd be pissed but "What condition does he have and how does he best relate to others" is acceptable.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:41 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • yes and no.

    I think it would be horrific if that is how you started a conversation.... however, after speaking to them a while and getting to know them it could come up politely in conversation. But it is a delicate subject and would require great tact on your part.


    Answer by sahlady at 3:45 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I personally wouldn't ask a question like that. It would make me feel rude and uncomfortable..

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:41 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Love Ati's answer

    Answer by Nanixh at 3:43 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Unless they are a care provider for my kid (babysitter, preschool teacher, occupational/developmental therapist) i would find it EXTREMELY rude. Not every child with special needs is mentally impared. And even if they are... its really none of your business if the child isn't in your care.

    Answer by karamille at 3:45 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • If your curious, discover! (That's what my little bookmark about including children with special needs says).

    There is a difference between asking about a child's abilities and asking someone what is wrong with thier kid, KWIM?

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:44 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • yes. it would make a very unconfortable situation. i wouldent.

    Answer by supermommy1983 at 3:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • No, because you might be misjudging that child.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:48 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • My son has autism. I'd prefer that they'd talk to him in an age appropriate way and I fill in the blanks for what he doesn't understand. Asking me in front of him what he understands is rude and hurtful.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:49 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I agree with asking away from the child, if you are already having a conversation. Maybe if they are already talking about the disability, you can ask questions.

    Answer by GingerMom33 at 3:53 PM on Oct. 12, 2010