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How do you bring up the subject of sex with your tween?

How much information do you give a 10 year old girl?


Asked by SweetLuci at 4:59 PM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 33 (61,712 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • I think it is best to talk about it in a casual enviroment like when they are stuck riding in the car with you but not face to face. I would ask her what she knows, if kids at school are talking about sex. I would just straight up tell her what it is and ask her if she has questions. I would say that puberty changes your body into an adult body and as it changes it prepares for sex and childbirth. I would talk about respecting our bodies and saving herself for one true love when she is an adult. I would acknowledge it is embarrassing to talk about but that it is important that you guys be able to talk about it to eachother. 'then tell her she isnt to educate the other kids that it is each moms job to tell their child.

    Answer by ria7 at 5:11 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Give her enough that when she starts her period she actually knows what's happening. Start by giving her just the most basic information, and make it an ongoing conversation. With my boys, they had started asking when they were pretty young, and people they knew were having babies. I gave them only what they could handle at that age, and as they got older, they either asked for more, or I looked for opportunities to discuss it with them. sometimes the opportunity was when I found out there were two pregnant girls in my middle son's 7th grade class, or maybe when we saw something on tv, or heard something on the radio in the car. Whenever something came up, I would ask them what they thought, and use that as a guide to how much they already knew, and where I met direct the conversation. Just make sure that even if it's hard for you to talk about that she knows she knows she can talk to you! Good Luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:05 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I would think just basics until she gets her period. I'm planning on telling my girls how you get pg, that the only way to prevent it completely is not to have sex. Once she gets her period, maybe about 13, I will start to discuss BC options, and get more in depth. Kids at that age, and younger, are discussing it at school and I don't want them to get misinformed. I felt more comfortable talking about it with friends than I did my mother, and got a lot of horrible info!-can't get pg if your on top, can't get pg if he pulls out(PROVED THAT ONE WRONG!), only 'dirty' people had diseases, etc. I want them to know the risks, but also know that the feelings that come with age are normal and that when it's between a man and woman who care for each other(and know the risks)it's perfectly natural and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

    Answer by alexsmomma06 at 11:14 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • All of it... My kids are much younger than that and have all the physical hows and whys about sex. At that age I would be teaching protection, birth control and safety. If she doesn't know the physical aspects yet, she would be getting that information as well... But most likely she already knows all that, even if you didn't give it to her.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:05 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I think what you say to a ten year old would be less explicit than what you would discuss with a teenager. They usually are somewhat inquisitive though. By Junior High I would think you would want to spell things out more since you don't want them to learn from unrealiable sources.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 5:07 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • She needs to definitely know about her upcoming period.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:08 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I would just talk about it as you tell her about her body parts. She needs to know what her body is doing so she can take care of herself. It's really not a big deal, she needs to be educated about her body. Make sure you're honest with her and tell her the facts. Remember, knowledge is power!

    Answer by HerbanRenewal at 5:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • ALL of it. She will be getting some info in school this year but this is a conversation that should have been started at about 6 years old and it needs to be ongoing. Keep communication open and honest. Don't freak out at her questions, just answer them honestly.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:35 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I find that when there is an open line of communication most children (tweens or otherwise) will bring the subject to you. You just have to be willing to listen and answer those questions. Believe me better the answer come from you than someone else.

    Answer by virtueous at 10:53 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I answer any questions she has openly and honestly, but don't push past what her original question was.
    Also, I do talk about life in general as it pertains to her physical development. Development, adolescence, puberty, hormones, and sexual issues are all normal, healthy things. I don't put them in a negative light and I try to teach my kids that these things are simply a part of life.

    Answer by 6girlsrock at 4:05 PM on Oct. 13, 2010