Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

does anyone else hate not being financially independent?

i hate not having my own money to spend on whatever i want or i feel guilty, my spouse gives me whatever money i ask for but i feel wierd and i want my own for birthday cards and gifts and my hair , anyone else feel like a kid asking for allowance

Answer Question
 
maymummy

Asked by maymummy at 7:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 11 (586 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • So get a small part-time job. Can you work while your kids are sleeping?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • i did and now i'm working but it wasn't to be able to get things but to also be able to contribute also... it just makes me feel good.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 7:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Yes I hated it. We even worked together, but it was his business before I came along, and eventhough I put in the same (if not more) hours) I felt like it was still his. Now I work and I love it! I don't feel guilty asking for things that aren't essential (hair, splurge gifts for friends, etc) It makes our relationship better too, because I don't have lingering guilt about anything. (which turns into resentment)
    Pumelo

    Answer by Pumelo at 7:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Yes I know what you mean. My kids are still little so I can't work while their sleeping to answer Anon. But when they are in school!! Can't wait to work. lol Its two sided! I want to hurry up and work, but I want my kids to stay little forever! =(
    Amelia512

    Answer by Amelia512 at 7:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Not really, I'm trying to finish school right now and i will be starting substitute teaching soon.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 7:35 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I did feel that way. I looked for a work at home opportunity to have my own money and still be with my family. I am now a Rep with Juice Plus. If you would like more info please feel free to contact me. I discovered a way toI have my cake and can eat it too.
    wellnessgirl

    Answer by wellnessgirl at 7:50 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I don't feel that way either. My husband makes most of our income (I only bring in a couple hundred a month) but we decide together how to spend our money. IMO it shouldn't be a parent child relationship. Maybe you guys could sit down together and decide how to spend your money that way you don't feel dependent on him.
    Erica_Smerica

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 8:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I hate it even more so because I don't usually get anything. Usually it's me taking him to wal-mart and telling him what I need. And half the time I get the response "can it wait"? and usually if I say yes, it always gets asked and unless I say no, I never get it. Rarely do I get something that I just want for me or my kids. It's more of what he wants because he goes out and makes the money. And I would try to find work, but we only have one car and where we live it's not possible to share, especially with having to get a child off to school and then trying to figure out how to get the other one taken care of durring the day. Not to mention that his work schedule is so odd that it makes it hard for any one to work around! Trust me, I've had plenty of time to think about this. While I'm trying to find odd jobs on the net that don't require travel, earning money here seems to take forever.
    Sarasmoonflower

    Answer by Sarasmoonflower at 9:06 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I personally prefer to be a SAHM, and I like asking my DH to use the money he earned, but that's just me.
    WomanWitty

    Answer by WomanWitty at 9:18 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Yes it bothers me. I don't usually ask to spend money, and he doesn't inform me when he spends money, unless one of us wants something that is more than x amount. Then we talk about it but I still hate the feeling that I'm spending money made by someone other than me. I worked for 10 years before staying home to take care of our kids and I cannot wait to be earning my own money again. I'm taking classes right now so I can get a job in something other than fast food or WM because those are the choices here.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:01 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN