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How do you get your child out of the "I hate you stage"

My son just turned 3 in July & this I dont liek you or I hate you thing he picked up a few months ago from his 11 yr old sister. It only took me one time of showing her he was copying it to make her quit saying it, but nothing stops him! What can I do?


Asked by My_o_me_x_3 at 8:49 PM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • As a child I remember saying that to my mom once. (I must have been older than 4 though to remember it so clearly.) She said "In this family we love each other, no matter what. There will be times you will be angry with me, and that's ok. There will be times I might be angry with you, too. But we do not 'hate' one another, ever!" Now with my brother, she had the talk a lot more than once. But she stood by it and eventually it worked.

    Answer by mom2ben at 11:18 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Best to ignore him at this age He will continue it to get a rise out of you.

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 8:55 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Eh, just let it go. It is a part of him seeing himself as a separate being from you. If you react then he will keep doing it. It's a normal part of them growing up and they do stop saying it after a while.

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:02 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • My mother never let us say we hated her ,each other,my father, etc. She always told us that we didn't have to like each other or what someone did, but we always loved each other. I do the same thing with my boys. They know that the word hate is a four letter word that is in no way allowed in my home. Talk about getting yourself in deep trouble, say you hate someone in my home. So, I guess the only way to make this stop is to put a serious punishment to that word for not only your 3 year old, but for the 11 year old too. Good luck!

    Answer by dmbutler at 9:44 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Do you allow him to swear? If not, tell him that is a bad word and is not allowed to be used at all in your house. Give him other words to use to help him express his feelings. As for the moms that think he will grow out of this, no, he won't. If you don't put a stop to it now, it will only get worse.

    Answer by A.Perry at 10:46 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Oh my gosh :( My dd is 4 and hasn't been through that stage, but my niece says it ALL the time! I really don't know. Other than to explain it's not nice or it hurts your feelings, I'm not sure. Sorry :(

    Answer by mom2maddie06 at 8:53 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • my mom would have slapped me and made me eat soap if I ever said that to her. I had more respect for people than to say that. raise them right and they won't talk to people like that.

    Answer by lv.42.dy at 8:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Ignore it.

    Answer by CometGirl at 12:35 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • My 11 year old doesnt say it anymore as soon as I showed her that he was repeating it she quit saying it. I have told him its a bad word & that it hurts feelings. I have also smacked him in the mouth, which did no good but make us both feel bad. So I will keep trying to explain it to him & hope he grows out of it lol. If not AS soon as he is old enough to understand what he is actually saying he will be punished for it.
    Thanks Ladies.

    Comment by My_o_me_x_3 (original poster) at 2:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2010