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4 Bumps

Should I feel guilty ?

If i go "out' without my kids 2-3 times a month ... either on a date or out for a girls night or something... the last 2 months I have gone out ( all together about 5 times ) without them, leaving them with my parents ( who want me to let them babysit more ) .... I am with them all day and night, the only other times I am ever without them is when i have a DR appt. or something that I cannot take them to ... I just feel guilty, and my mom says I shouldnt but I have a friend who NEVER leaves her kids and she says she would never do what I am doing.... Also they are 2 and 4 years old, I am 22... and I am never like partying or drinking ( which i dont do at all ) ... it is just more like a nice dinner and maybe to a store or something - usually 3 or 4 hours...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (29)
  • Everyone needs a little break ... sounds like your friend is jealous
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 10:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I dont see anything wrong with going out without your kids. I dont think someone should do it every night or every weekend but 5 times in 2 months is not bad. And your not gone all weekend. You need a break and some time for yourself. If i had the money i would go out by myself...I just dont have the money to go anywhere.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 10:17 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • You probably shouldn't feel guilty, but I would. I don't get nearly enough me time and I am a little jealous of moms who do so without guilt. But leaving your kids with loving grandparents is really such a great thing! I wish my mom lived closer so I could do it more.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 10:17 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • I'm the type that would feel guilty, but not for good reason, lol. I'm just weird like that and feel guilty anytime anyone watches my son. I don't think you should feel guilty, though. It's good for the kids to have time with someone else as well, and at least they're always with someone who loves them. :)
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • If your oldest is 4 and your are 22, that means you got pregnant when you were 17 meaning you didn't have time to fully enjoy your own childhood before becoming a mother so there's nothing wrong for making up for lost time.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 10:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • nothing wrong with that, everyone needsa break and to feel like an adult sometimes...i feel like i am a better Mommy when i can take breaks and get my head on straight for a bit....its GOOD to miss your kids and then go back to them....makes you appreciate them more...you will feel guilty no matter what...'mommy guilt' has been one of the hardest things for me since becoming a mother because it never goes away...but just know that you are doing nothing wrong
    mamagee1218

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 10:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Thats OKAy, you need a break.
    cerealmom2

    Answer by cerealmom2 at 10:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • A happy mom can equal happy kids. Kids can also thrive when they have loving relationships with their grandparents. I'd say don't feel guilty. You trust they are in good hands with your parents and they're getting good care, you're getting a break.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 10:28 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • Everyone needs a break. I am with my kids 24/7, and let me tell you how crazy I am right now! I have not had a break from my kids (other than the half hour I was tanning last night) in over a month. I have four kids, agest 6 1/2, 4 1/2, 3, and 20 months. I am 24 years old, so I am kind of in your situation. I am married, but my husband works very long hours so he doesn't often want to go out when he gets home. I don't have many friends to go out with, and I don't do much outside my house. My parents are very good about watching the kids too, but they're dealing with their own drama right now. Please, please don't ever feel bad about leaving your kids. It is GOOD for them to be with other people that you trust, and it's GOOD for you to have a break from them. You come back feeling refreshed, and it's likely you deal with them much better than you did before you left them.
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 10:29 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • A break is always nice -- so don't worry with what other ppl say.. it isn't hurting your kids with your parents -- I am sure your parents enjoy it
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 10:32 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

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