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Anyone else have a husband who never takes them out?

I had 3 kids back to back. Our oldest is 4 years old. My husband and I have been out on 5 dates since our oldest was born. Of those 5 dates we either went to just dinner or just a movie, never both, because he feels it's unfair to leave his mom with all those kids for 4 hours (yes, I know I do it 24/7, but he doesn't seem to care about that). He has a cocktail party that he's going to in 2 weeks for a friends 40th birthday and he's going without me because he doesn't want to leave the kids with a sitter and he doesn't want to impose on his mom. So, I never get out. I never get to do grown up things. And we never do things together as a couple. Am I the only one in this situation?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Oct. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Have you told him you feel neglected? Maybe you need to get out with some girlfriends and leave him with the children. Just explain that since he doesn't want to hire a sitter and you need some time away, you are sure he won't mind keeping the children.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:36 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • You're not the only one! My hubby and I go out maybe once every couple months, and that's only when I beg and plead with him, and he gets tired of hearing me whine about how we never go out. My parents are more than willing to watch the kids for the entire night if we need them to, but my hubby just never wants to. The only thing we do every year is his company Christmas party... which is nice, but I don't know anyone. Year after year, he drags me around like his little trophy wife. I say hello to everyone, not bothering to remember names because I know I'll be reintroduced next year. We sit and eat dinner with his core group of friends, and then leave as soon as the main program is over. Boorrrriiinnnggg
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 10:40 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • how dare your hubby not take you is there other woman he is taken,i would not take this from any man let alone my hubby,
    first i would get a babysitter ,weather you go with him or not call up bf and have girl night out ,and don't come home before him let him stew over it ,if he gets mad tell him it takes two parents to rise this family and since you are with the kids 2 4 7 , and you have stand up to him if not your hubby will walk all over you ,in the 31yrs of my marriage to my hubby at first he would not take me out so i just went out with out him with my bf and left him with the kids i had so much fun and i am mother of 5 kids yes they turn out to be great adults ,so have great night and have fun
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 10:51 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • My husband didn't like going out while we were dating. Since we got married, I've had to literally BEG him to even rent a movie and watch it at home. I feel for you.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 11:04 PM on Oct. 12, 2010

  • we havent been out in 2 yrs. your not alone
    hlmommy

    Answer by hlmommy at 12:43 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Talk to his mom about it and get her true feelings. Does she really feel put on when asked to watch the kids so that the two of you can have a night to yourselves? Get her answer and feedback. When you've done that (and it's a positive for you), talk to your husband about it, letting him know that you and his mom have talked, and that she's perfectly fine to have the kids for a few hours (especially around bedtime) so that the two of you can have a nice night together.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 2:37 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

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