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4 Bumps

how can i get my kids to get along more and share their toys?

they sometimes get along so good i cannot believe it but allot of times they fight over the smallest things how can i stop this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • For starters, do they share a toy box? If so, get them each their own.

    Something I read years and years ago about kids and sharing - Yes we all want kids to share and play nice, but think about what we are asking of children. Would we, as adults, let our adult siblings just come in and mess with whatever they wanted to? No, of course not!
    I'm not ABOUT to let my sister wear my wedding band or my gold cross that hubby gave me, but I'm more than willing to let her wear my silver cross or the jade bracelet I bought a few years back. She can drive my old mini van, but NOT my brand new Dodge Charger! Makes sense, right?

    So, encourage your children to share their less favored toys, but do not REQUIRE them to share their favorites. Even if they have willingly shared a favored item on their own in the past.
    This gives them a sense of control over their own things, making it easier for them to share the lesser valued toys.
    grammamamma

    Answer by grammamamma at 7:14 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Oops, my post was too long...here is the rest of it, LOL

    Cont:
    This helps them feel more comfortable with sharing because they can "protect" what is important to them. Ya they might decide that ALL their toys are favorites...but mom knows better and can help the kids calm down.

    As for the one who wants the siblings toy, make sure that one knows why he cant have it and ask the sharer to help choose an alternative for the sibling to borrow.

    It took a a few days, and I had to keep it in my own mind until it became habit for the family, but it realy did make a difference in the unrest at our house :-D
    grammamamma

    Answer by grammamamma at 7:19 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • My DIL has a kindness chart. The kids get points for kindness done to others (this could be sharing maybe?) and then after a certain number of points they go on a special day trip, for ice cream, new little treat/toy, etc. Just an idea.........
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:46 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Only child here...here is a bump!
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 12:58 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I take the toy away if they can't share it or place night. Until the end of the day.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:36 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • my sister is 36 years old and she never did learn that lesson.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Oct. 18, 2010

  • xxhazeldovexx, what I have found when doing this (just taking the toy from BOTH children) (my own, foster children, and grand children) is that they learn that they can get back at another child with it.

    Johny is angry with Bobby (for whatever reason)...Johny takes Bobbys toy...the arguement ensues...mom takes the toy away completely..Johny goes off to play with his toys with a smile while Bobby is missing his toy, and why? Because Johny was being a brat.

    Children need personal boundaries too.
    grammamamma

    Answer by grammamamma at 4:21 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

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