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legal question for custody in TN

my ex is not officially ex though we have been abiding by a parenting plan set in place but not official since January. however, this last month he's missed nine of his days for visitation and has not even been calling his son. i offered him to take a weekend of mine and he declined as he is flying in a girl (he met two weeks ago) from CA to nashville. he has also cut back on the money he WAS giving me for the past 10 months which has been less than my attorney says it should be anyways. when my six year old is there he is left to play video games unsupervised and has to call me every day to tell his dad to feed him (!!!) my son does not like going with my husband and after this month i dont want to force him any more. i do not care about going back to court for this, especially since his dad wont (doesnt want to spend the money) but how MUCH trouble could i get into for not sending my son to his dad's?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Oct. 13, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Well i would be going back into court first of all your ex should be giving you the same amount of money that was said in court and/or between the lawyers. If your son doesn't want to go to his fathers then that is just great it sounds like your ex doesn't want him around. But this ex of yours help make this child with you and he needs to help you raise him. I don't believe you can get in much troble but i would speak with your lawyer and make sure. If you don't really want anything from this ex of yours that is all fine but don't after him in 3-8 yrs from know cause you can't afford all the things your son needs or you need help with this and that this is your chance to get what YOUR CHILD DESERVES. Child support is for the CHILD NOT YOUR POCKET. People make that mistake alot. GL and speak with your lawyer about your concerns he would know better then any of us mommas.mention to ur lawyer about ur child not being feed @ dad

    Answer by raemommy at 4:28 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Don't call dad to remind him of visitation. Document every visitation: took or didn't take...called did not call etc. Establish that pattern not to mention that if you don't call him dad doesn't seem to take advantage of his visitation anyways.
    AND ... I would formally adress. the not feeding thing. Here a couple of questions... why does ds call YOU when dad hasn't fed him for YOU to tell dad to feed him? That seems kinda wierd. Why doesn't he just tell dad???? what does dad do when you then call dad?

    I would speak to your atty. and wonder if he would suggest for you to send a certified letter and/or emai (for documentation purposes) to dad letting him know/reminding him to make sure ds eats. (Not sure whether you should do it now or wait)
    Since there's no set CO, but there is a parenting plan its a kinda iffy... talk to atty. about denying visitation... not sure there...

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:23 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • at the very least if you don't remind him, he doesn't cone to have his visitation... NOT YOUR that's one less concern AND sets up a GREAT precedent to bring up in court. G.L.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:25 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • depends on what you legal agreement says and document everything gl

    Answer by mekarevell at 9:29 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • You need to talk to your attorney about what you are within your rights to do as far as witholding visitation.

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:49 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

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