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How would you deal with....

Having a baby in 5 days (by c-section) and not having your S/O home for 2 more months or more?

He has been gone for 8 months already & will be gone until atleast x-mas eve... Its been so hard to do everything by myself right now such as take care of our 2 year old, house work, yard work, work, bills ect. I just feel so over whelmed and everything has been getting to me this past week....Im so scared that when our second daughter is born on monday I just will have a nervous break down and it will all just be to much to deal with... I don't have anyone to help me with anything, so im scared Im not going to be able to take care of my little girls during the recovery of a c-section on top of still having to work ect... Anyone out there that can give me some advice to ease my mind about it all?

Answer Question
 
xtatianax

Asked by xtatianax at 6:56 AM on Oct. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (460 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Is it a military deployment? Where have you turned to for help? Do you have a church family?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:04 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • what about your mom comeing to help you out for a while?
    ladybug36519

    Answer by ladybug36519 at 7:10 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Tootoobusy- No its not... He fell behind on child support with his 2 oldest children and his ex- wife is jealous of me and got mad when she found out I was pregnant, so she reported him ( although we have always bought his boys everything they needed when we could and have them ever other week).

    Ladybug- no....My mom isn't really that good with kids, she see's things alot different then i do, plus i really don't think she would even if i wanted her to...PLUS she refuses to smoke outside and i REFUSE to have her smoking around my kids in my home in their face...My daughter has come home with cigarette burns on her the few times I desprately needed a sitter...not intentionally of course...but still...those are my babies! So instead of hurting her feelings or fighting with her I rather her not help at all, since her kind of help isnt really "help". =( i dont know what to do...
    xtatianax

    Comment by xtatianax (original poster) at 7:48 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • First let me say good luck with everything and know that you are not alone, although I understand why you feel that way. Is there a person you trust that is with you. Does your younger child go to day care, someone who can help for a little while during the day? If this is a military thing are there any moms that can help?

    I know it is going to be hard and I appluade you for all your strength. It is never easy when you have to do everything one your own and I think you need to take a break, maybe just sit and have a cup of tea. Some quiet time at night once you daughter is a sleep.

    Good Luck with everything and if you ever feel like venting or just need to feel less a lone send me a message. My sisters husband has been gone for 12 months and he won't be back until sometime in December. She has a 2 year old and I know how hard it is for her.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:48 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Tell your doctor and the staff at the hospital exactly what you have said here. There might be some sort of help that they can arrange for you. GL!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:52 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Who is going to watch your daughter while you're having the baby? Perhaps that person can help you the first few weeks after delivery, as I'm sure you know the recovery of a c-section is tough. You won't be allowed to do much for a couple of weeks after you have one.

    I know how difficult it is when your main source of support, your husband, isn't there when you need him most. My hubby missed the births of both of our children because of the army, for the first he got to come afew hours after she was born but for the 2nd he didn't see her til she was 2 months old. It's very difficult to deal with.

    I agree with letting the hospital know your situation, they might actually have some resources for you. Just have faith that everything will be okay and stay strong, like you have been. This too shall pass! Good luck
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:01 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Thank you tnm786, and im not sure who I will have watch my daughter while im in the hospital...She hasnt ever really been "watched" by anyone before, nor do I know anyone that i can trust to watch her... but I guess that is something that I need to hurry up and try to figure out since I only have 5 more days!
    xtatianax

    Comment by xtatianax (original poster) at 8:06 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I work from home so she is always with me....Thats something else that ive been stressing over... I cant really afford to miss work while im in the hospital and recovering. I dont know.... some how it will all work out.
    xtatianax

    Comment by xtatianax (original poster) at 8:07 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • My advice would be to not sweat the small stuff. Don't worry about if your floor was vacuumed today or if the grass is a foot tall. If your kids are fed and cared for and played with, then that's how you end your day knowing you did good. Good luck!!
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:32 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Just try and not worry and stress so much. I know how hard that sounds, but you have got to take time to calm yourself. It can be hard if you are the only one there and the only one working and the only one paying the bills and the only one raising the child(ren). But you are a very strong woman and you can do this! Have faith! Believe in yourself!
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 9:02 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

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