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I am falling out of love with my husband, but don't want to.

I can't even stand to be around him. He promised me when we moved here (His hometown) for his job(crane oper.) 20 yrs ago, we would move back to NC. We did by property down home,but I think he just did it to let me think we're gonna move soon. My mom and dad are in their 80's .I need to be with them. My kids love it there too. But he won't move because he said you can't find jobs there and he won't be getting the money he's getting now.we live in a small ranch house. kids have no where ride their 4-wheelers. We have alot of acs. in Nc, and they get so excited when they get there to ride there and see family. I can't leave him cause he will fight me for the boys. the boys r scared of him

they don't tell him how they feel .Please pray a job will open up for him in NC-near Greensboro like Belews Creek Steam station,and he may consider to move, but I don't know.

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rachel1960

Asked by rachel1960 at 12:52 PM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Are you actually falling out of love with him or are you just aggravated and miserable because of him. Theres no place like the home you grew up in, but, when you marry, you can make any house a home if you are willing. I think maybe you should tell him how you feel. Children should never ever be scared of their father, or mother either for that matter. No one can tell you what to do,but, you have to look into your heart and actually see if you are just pissturbed with him or falling out of love. 20 years is a lot to throw away.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:07 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • My X promised me the same thing...
    He never moved us...so I moved my daughter and I and divorced his ass...
    good luck
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:19 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • My husband has been out of a job for a long time--so I agree with your husband about not finding work.When a man doesn't have a job worst things can come out of this.I think you should stay where the money is and visit your home land on a vacation..hope all works out.
    countingsparows

    Answer by countingsparows at 1:21 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • That is nice what she says above...your husband should have never promised you anything.
    I understand totally about wanting to be near your parents. My mother was the #1 reason why I choose to move my daughter and I. I had a burning, hurt feeling in my heart daily because my X never moved us back. You can find a job...you can do anything if you really want to.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:28 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I foyuneed to move for you and your children than move. He'll either follow or he won't. You can not make another person do what you want them toyou can only temper your behaviors in reaction to theirs. If moving will make you happy and be heathier for your kids then go.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 1:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • I think you are mad at him because he isn't doing what you want to do. If your parents really need your help, then they should be willing to move to where you are, not the other way around. When we marry, our first allegiance belongs to our husbands and not to our families. If you make the offer to move them near you, and they refuse, then they have made the choice. It's what we had to do with my mother-in-law. She chose to stay where she was, but it was her decision. Please don't punish your husband for trying to do what is right for his family.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:50 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Are you falling out of love with your husband because of a promise he made to you over 20 years ago? Or about the kids not having a place to ride their 4 wheelers? Has he been a good provider over the last 20 years for you and your children?
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 3:14 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

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