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How to say "It's not you, it's the economy" to your SO?

Job market here is horrible. I owe a lot of money and every job has the same story, everything is part time. Part time would not be so bad if the competition weren't as bad. But seems here that just to get part time work, I have to give an open schedule. I've already been through a nine month draw of applying for jobs without any calls for interviews. And, this does not mean I was picky. I applied at many convenience stores, gas stations, and grocers (including Walmart). I was told that I was over qualified.

Where I work currently is going through another round of cutbacks (they have just cut back 15% of faculty about two months ago). And this is across state line from where I live. How would one tell his/her SO that this is not the place to live (come with me or be alone, I can't stay here)?

Thanks in advance

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (6)
  • Maybe do your homeowrk. Look for a place to live, jobs avaliable in the area you want to move. Tell your DH why you think moving is right. DO NOT make an ultimatum.

    Answer by MIA0223 at 9:41 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Share your concerns about staying and the benefits of leaving.

    Would SO have any reason to want to stay?

    Answer by UpSheRises at 9:42 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • God bless ya'll,it's a rough situation. We move about every 2 years just because of DH's line of work, it's hard on a family. But it's not life ending and change shouldn't be so scary. Maybe you could lay out a presentation to him basically, showing him where you have found a better job, the fun things to do in the area, a possible job opportuity for him and great photos of housing. Give him a situation where it will be very hard for him to say no and keep the emotion out of it. Present to him the facts of both areas, the job situations in both areas and let him feel like he is the one making the decision or at least has some control over it. If he feels like he has some say so, he'll be better able to head in your direction. Humans like control, so let him think he has some with this decision. Men are supposed to be providers, he probably already feels bad enough. GL!!

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:51 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Applying for jobs you are overqualified for doesn't increase your chances of an interview. Tell him you have to go to where the jobs you are qualified for are. Then make sure you know where those jobs are.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:52 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I agree with MIA0223 - an ultimatum is NOT the right thing to do in this situation. It could cause a lot of bitterness and other problems in your marriage. I say do your homework and research the area you think you should move to. Talk to your husband and show him what you've found and the opportunities y'all and your kids could have there.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 11:54 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I agree, discussing it with your husband is the best way to go. It's rough for a lot of people in this economy. People are looking everywhere for jobs. The county I live in has the dubious honor of being number one (tied actually) in the state for unemployment, at over 15%. Most of those employed, including my husband, work outside of the county. Good luck!

    Answer by duckigrrl at 5:37 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

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