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2 Bumps

Would you tell him now or later?

Ok, here's a question I'll send out into the CafeMom void. I am 39 years old and my husband is 47. We have a beautiful 5-year old son named Paul. I just took a positive pregnancy test yesterday and I can't decide if I should tell my husband now or wait until after my doctor's appointment on October 21.

Here are my reasons for not telling him now:
1. He can't keep a secret to save his life and we miscarried our last one. I don't want him to tell the world and then find out I'm not going to be able to carry the baby.

2. While I think this will ultimately be good news, we are not financially stable right now. He's supposed to get some money over the weekend, so he might be feeling better about money by my October 21 appointment.

On the other hand...this would be an important thing to know. ... So, I guess my question is... is it a bad idea to keep this a secret for 8 more days?

Thanks in advance.

Answer Question

Asked by KCisPaulsMom at 11:58 AM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'd tell him now, but waiting a few days isn't going to hurt anything IMHO ;-) Good luck and Congrats.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:59 AM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • no i dont think is bad to keep it from him till you go to the docs...cuz if you didnt test you also wouldnt no

    Answer by mama2my2boys at 12:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • no secrets in marriage, tell him now. sadly if u miscarried between now and then you would want him to know. just tell him don't tell anyone til you are both ready.

    Answer by keisha613 at 12:02 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • That is so tough. I can't keep a secret either. We told everyone once about a baby and then I miscarried. It was awful. I hate to say it, but don't tell him. Wait for the appointment. The sticks can be wrong. Doctors are usually right. So with that said 8 days isn't going to be a big deal. I personally wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, so if you do spill the beans, make him promise and swear up and down that he won't tell anyone. He should be taught that you don't tell anyone anyway until the 3 month mark. Good Luck.

    Answer by donnareedonLSD at 12:33 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Donna, that's kinda what I'm thinking. I told him the last time we were pregnant not to tell anyone... but he just couldn't hold onto it. All of his friends knew within the first two days of me telling him. I'm just gonna have to wait the 8 days... and then tell him.

    Comment by KCisPaulsMom (original poster) at 1:20 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I couldn't keep something like that from my husband, I'd tell him as soon as I found out. But you have to do whatever you think is best. My husband would be upset with me if he knew I kept it from him.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 1:45 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I would tell him now but tell him not to say anything until after your doctors appointment. I would tell him why you would want him to wait.

    Answer by ladyambition at 2:59 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I would wait to tell him. Its not going to hurt.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:44 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • i would tell him it may cause i'm more then sure that he would like to be there for the appointment too... i'm not one to keep secrets from my husband but i know it would hurt him if i did.... it would avoid drama.

    Answer by Lynnsae at 4:58 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I say tell him now, ask him how you would want him to keep it a secret especially since you had a m/c.

    Answer by cynprz at 5:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

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