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does he want to get back together with me?

some background. I dated this guy for 9 months, he wanted to marry me, he lost his virginity to me, I loved him alot! But he couldn't keep a job and well I'm a freaking idiot! So I broke up with him. I actually broke up with him in march and then we got back together in april. Then I broke up with him again in august. I broke this guys heart. I'll be the first to admit I'm a scumbag. All I can say in my denfense is I've been married to an extremel abusive man. Who tried to kill me. Alot. I'm terrified of being in that position again.
but I love this guy I really do. So a couple days ago I got an email from him and we've been chatting. He calls me hun and dear and talks a little about missing me. He's dated another girl while we were apart but they're just friends now. I'd really like to think he could give me another chance... What do you think?
before you ask I'm 25 and he's 30.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Well, I have to say that you DO realize the why of what you did, and you can admit it. That's good. So maybe you have done some work on yourself, and don't really know it. It sounds like he's interested in some sort of relationship, what kind, none of here know. But, I can say for sure, you need to take it way slow. And you need to be very open and honest with him. Tell him why you did what you did, so maybe he can be open to the signs of it happening again, and bring it to your attention. Then, you can work on things, without breaking his heart again. It's really great you see this in yourself, though. Lots of times people just can't, and won't ever admit it if they do. Even IF he doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, maybe you should talk with him about why you broke up with him before. I'm sure he'd like some closure. I'm big on closure myself, though.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 1:32 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • If he does get back together with you are you going to stick with it or let history repeat itself? I dated the nicest guy in the world, but I was the scumbad, he was TOO good and nice and I took advantage of him and hurt him repeatedly. I know I was a jerk and I have since apologized, but I knew I couldn't start seeing him again because I would just do it all over again.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 12:55 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • why did you break up in the first place and has that changed? if not I would say stay friends
    pregoagain2010

    Answer by pregoagain2010 at 1:05 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • If you think it can change go for it. If not then dont waste your time. Move on knowing it will hurt and I am sure you will find better. Be smart and make sure that you wont make the same mistakes. You should already know the signs that lead to a bad relationship, keep your mind and eyes open. GL.
    dha8718

    Answer by dha8718 at 1:20 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • If he's the one, why did you break up with him all those times? Can he finally keep a job?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:36 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I have been married and divorced twice and I am in therapy now to deal with all the issues. What I have come to realize is that you HAVE to be completely over all the past relationships to even hope the new one will work. That means in your case, before you even try it again with this guy, you have to be in a spot where you will never ever be worried or afraid again because of the first relationship before him. Negative begets negative and if you bring garbage into a new relationship - garbage begets garbage. Deal with your issues, stay friends til you are REALLY ready and then give it a try.

    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 4:54 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

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