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my ds asked me today why he did not have a grandfather?

I did not have a great answer I was caught of guard, I just told him not all kids get to have grandfathers. He was kind of upset, because some kids grandfather took him fishing and they were all excited about that at school today.

My husband's father died 20 years ago and my father is a not someone I would want my kid around, he has met him, but he is just not a grandfather type.
What would be a better answer if he asks again?


Asked by Bubbie0809 at 4:09 PM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (47,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would tell him the truth - kids are amazing at knowing when we lie to them. Then he's hurt all over again. I would say it and then FOCUS on the people he does have in his life AND even if YOU have to take him it! It sounds like that's what he is really interested in and I bet he will never forget when his mom took him fishing! My kids don't have grandparents on their dad's side, but on my side they do. However, my parents are practically evil and toxic and I don't want them around. They know that and don't want to be around them either. I do wish that my kids had the benefit of a good set of grandparents.....there is a lot they could benefit from the older generation....but sadly, more and more grandparents are actually a bad influence on kids than a good one. GL

    Answer by Babylove76 at 1:39 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I agree with Moms Angels, and then focus on who he DOES have in his life "You have Uncle Joey, who thinks you are amazing and took you to ___. Aren't you lucky, some kids don't have fun Uncles" or some other strong male role model that you have around.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 4:36 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Personally, I tell my children the truth. They know that their paternal grandfather has passed away. I do not have people in my life that I wouldn't want them to be around, but if I did, I would tell them that. I'd tell them that sometimes people are really meant to be grandparents.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 4:12 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Tell the child the truth? What else can you do? Lie to him? Be honest with your child and tell him the your husbands father passed away a long time ago and that your dad is not around...if the child asks questions as to why your father isn't around be honest with him about it? Why hide the truth from him?

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:22 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Just tell him that he passed away a long time ago....There is not much else to say.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I would tell him that your husbands dad passed away and since you have no contact with your father he isn't around either

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 4:14 PM on Oct. 13, 2010