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What would you do.......

My husband n i are newlyweds. We are also new parents to our 6 almost 7 month old lil girl, n we are separated if u could say that. i'm a mess because i love him so so much. he makes me so happy. what would u do? i need encuragement n to talk with others other than my family.

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Denisia1989

Asked by Denisia1989 at 6:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (-7 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • why are you separated, if you love him so so much and he makes you so happy? think about it. all relationships take time to grow into something awesome. you are newlywed, and with a small child..that's stressful. i know; been there!
    you have to ask yourself, ''do i want to be with this person? what can i do to make that happen?" if he's willing to do the same, then do it. try again. its definitely easier to walk away, but much more rewarding to work it out, together.
    good luck! and you always have CM to come to..we're here 24/7!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:42 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • hes got alot of things on his mind. plus hes been having nightmares, n he is afraid that if i or our daughter touch him in his sleep he will hurt us n not mean too. it was his idea, he wants us to work out n i do too, so much. hes also bipolar, adhd n he also has ptsd. hes just wanting to think n get everything figured out so we can try being us again.
    Denisia1989

    Comment by Denisia1989 (original poster) at 6:47 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Would he agree to marriage counseling? If not, you may need to go w/out him to figure out how to move forward w/out him. That will be hard considering your strong feelings for him and the fact that you have a child together. I hope you can work it out. That is not a long time to really say the effort was put into a marriage. I dont know what's sadder, a marriage that ends so soon, or one that ends after many years. It's always sad, and unless there is abuse or infidelity, I believe most marriages can be saved w/ some effort. Good luck.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:47 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Is he taking medication for his issues?
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 6:49 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • If he is bipolar, adhd and has ptsd, is he getting help? Is he on meds? Is he military? Why does he think he will hurt you?
    He needs help, and he needs meds. He may not need to stay on meds, but until he can get stable, he probably needs them. No shame in that. And if he doesn't want to lose his new wife, and his new child, he will do what he has to do, right? Be there for him, but stand your ground. If he wants to be a man, he needs to be the man and take care of himself.
    I know what it's like being a newlywed, with a new baby. But it was ME that had the troubles. Luckily, my hubby stood by me, wouldn't let me go. We fought horribly, but we couldn't let go. We fought for our marriage because, we believe, it was always supposed to be 'us'. This may be a long hard road, but don't give up. If he isn't seeing someone, push him to. He can't do this on his own, no one can. And there is NO shame in that, but there is in NOT going.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 6:52 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I dont know if he would. We both need to be on meds. Him for his Bipolar n ADHD, n me because my mom n grandmother think I might have a small case of Postpartom Deppression. Hes told my grandma that he has been thinkin about the list i made n is willing to work on it.
    Denisia1989

    Comment by Denisia1989 (original poster) at 6:54 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • i think you guys should definitly try. My husband is the same way. Just make sure ur kid doesn't touch him while sleeping
    crystaldinae

    Answer by crystaldinae at 7:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • No hes not on any meds. He doesnt have insurence and he has no way of paying for everything. I am supporting him n standing by him the best i can. i am letting him have his space. i dont think he wants to loose us. when we got together he told me that he believed we were gonna last till the day we died. he was in the milatry but got discharged.
    Denisia1989

    Comment by Denisia1989 (original poster) at 7:04 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • It was his decision to be separated. I've done what I could, now its all up to him. So just keep me n my family in ur prays. If u want you can add me as a friend.
    Denisia1989

    Comment by Denisia1989 (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

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