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How to get over someone who never loved you?

I spent almost nine years with my ex. I met him while in high school and we were inseparable until a few months ago. I believed we had a long loving real relationship. I guess I was wrong. This man has caused me so much pain and has never provided for my daughter who is now 3. I moved from my family to be here with him and he just woke up morning and decided he didn't want to be with me and no longer loves me and doesn't know if he ever wants to be with me. I am so hurt beyonf belief for myself and daughter who loves him to no end. With all the bad in this I can't let go of the good times we've had and I'm sick of being lonely. He was all I had and my only friend. I have no family or friends here and I'm completely alone. There's not much you can do with a 3 year old no one to speak to about things.

I'm ranting..I know! Just overwhelmed and feel I will never move on. I cry because I miss him so much. I doubt he ever loved me

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • You can only get over someone when you decide to, once and for all. For most people, there is a part of them that loves to hang on to the past. It's almost as if we enjoy making ourselves suffer...or we're addicted to it.

    I'm not saying it's easy, but you have to decide that you deserve to be happy right now. Get out of your own head, and focus on the beautiful things you have in your life right now. Your daughter for one. She may not be much of a conversationalist, but she can give you all the joy you need if you let her do that. Focus on yourself too, you're important. What do you want out of life that your relationship held you back from? Go out and get that for yourself. See it as an opportunity to find something worthwhile and better!

    Answer by moniquinha at 9:31 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • yep... what she said ^^^^

    also, i had to break up with my ex (who i was with for 4.5 years and also have a 3y/o with) 4 times before i realized that i really didnt want to be with him. we kept breaking up and i kefp going back to him because i didnt want to be lonely or i was scared or i didnt want to traumatize my daughter. you'll know when you had enough and eventually you will start to move on.

    i dont miss him i just missing having the whole family together. thats the worst part for me. good luck!

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 10:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Love yourself. Don't try to figure out what it was about you that he couldn't love or even what defect of his made him unable to love you. All of this is pointless. Don't think of it as wasted time - it was if nothing else a learning experience and you have an irreplacable daughter. Decide what you deserve and how you will make your own happiness. Don't tell yourself he never loved you - you felt love and you're not an idiot for being in that relationship. Just know that right now you deserve to not be with someone who doesn't know with all their being that they want to be with you - you deserve to be in a position to learn to be happy without relying on anyone else and now you have that opportunity. If that was not the right relationship for you it is best to grieve and move on no matter how crappy it feels right now. Just do the best you can to love yourself right now and accept love from wherever is it real right now

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

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