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3 Bumps

visitation / bedtime

Over the summer my dd's dad and fiance let my girls stay up till 1 am while they were sleeping. I discussed w my ex that he is their father and needs to protect them and set rules. And understand that I have them on a schedule. 9pm on weekdays and 10pm the latest on weekend. Well during conversation his fiance listening in says "my house my rules" So I say "My kids my rules" He tells her to shut up and she storms off screaming. I told him that these are our kids that he needs to step up. He agreed. Or I thought. So now my dd's say that they have been staying up till 1am again. and their dad and his fiance go to sleep. So apparently they dont care about my girls schedule or the inconsistincy they are causing. And they definitley dont care about my girls safety. Mean while their son and her girl is in bed w them. My SO and I dnt sleep unless his son and my girls are asleep. I dont know what I can do at this point!

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mymestey

Asked by mymestey at 10:25 PM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (2,425 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I would take him to court again and tell the court that he sleeps when the kids are awake and you are worried about their safety because he would never know if the kids were hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I wholeheartedly agree with you and have dealt with the same issues with my DS's father. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about what he does with them on his on time unless you can prove that it is disruptive to the girls and dangerous because they are left unsupervised. I know it sucks. I spend most of the week trying to get my son back on schedule after he's spent the weekend with his father.
    travzmom

    Answer by travzmom at 10:33 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Well, this kind of depends on how old your kids are. Ours our 11 and 15 and they are allowed to stay up later than we do. If they are younger kids where it really is not safe, contact your lawyer and see about taking your ex back to court over it.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:35 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • Thats what I want to do. Im afraid someone could brake in and hurt or get them or that they may decide to outside while everyone is sleeping. My girls are very good and safe but you just never know. But the judge we have aloud him back in their lives after being gone for 3 yrs and no Q's asked. He got the same rights that any dad would get. He had abuse and drug charges on his record and the judge would even acknowledge it. While I have a clean record and just want my girls to be safe and not have their lives disturbed. I just dont feel the judge is going to take me seriously. I had a lawyer last time but cant afford it this time. Plus my lawyer did me no good!
    mymestey

    Comment by mymestey (original poster) at 10:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I dont think there is much you can do. A judge is gonna say that houses have different rules. No more no less. As to his sleeping good luck proving it. Judges dont like that whle my kids say thing that parents do. good luck though.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 10:41 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • my girls are 6 and 8. They dont have a bedroom they use the fiances daughters room. both their kids have a room of their own but dont sleep in it. My ex's mom wont even go over there any more because she cant stand to see my girls be treated so unfarely. The fiance wrote her dd name on all her toys. And tell my girls that their dad pays me 343.00 a month that I can by them toys. Although when I do decide to take him to court his mom said she will go with me and tell the judge what she sees going on with my girls. and my 8 yr old has become super sensitive and emotional on the past year. Over the summer 3 different times she didnt want to go to her dads for the weekend. Even w all this info I still feel its not enough for this judge and I dont want to put my girls in the middle.
    mymestey

    Comment by mymestey (original poster) at 10:45 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • i would try to go back to court too gl your girls dont deserve that. if she has issues with you then she should take it up with you.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:04 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • wow... I hate this situation for you! is there anyway you could try and request a new judge for your case? I know some state's and towns allow it...if yours does its well worth a shot. Good luck to you, you sound like a terrific mother.
    xtatianax

    Answer by xtatianax at 2:39 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • you need to go back to court and get your children into counseling right away......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:48 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • she sounds nutty, obviously she is controling and doesnt care about your kids. How old are your girls? talk to their dad again and explain that you are worried about their safety. He needs to step up and take better care of your children. Just ignore the Fiance, i mean i would understand if the fiance was saying they need to go to bed earlier and you were butting in saying no... i want to control everything that happens to them at your house... but it is a safety issue and if you are concerned for their health and well being, she needs to shut up. period.
    sarlove01

    Answer by sarlove01 at 3:42 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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