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She finally went to sleep and now I feel bad

Ok so I'm trying to let my DD CIO ... she's 16 months and let's face it I'm really really tired. Well, she just cried for an hour (of course I went in and comforted her every 15 mins). Well, now she fell asleep and I feel bad because she went to bed upset ... amd I crazy? :(


Asked by kaylan010 at 11:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • She did not go to bed upset. she went to bed mad because she did not get her way. You did nothing wrong and it's always harder on the mom than it is on the child.

    good job momma. only a couple of nights to go and it should pass. She will be sleeping on her own soon.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:11 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I think 16 months is old enough to CIO. She probably won't even remember in the morning.

    Answer by sandrizzle at 11:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • You're totally not crazy...I do the same thing. In fact, I get SO frustrated sometimes that I'll rant and rave to my DH about it, and I'll be firm and unyielding with my DD...and then the second she falls asleep, I feel bad. :-/ Don't feel bad, though. You're trying to help her learn to soothe herself and that's a good thing mama. :)

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 11:12 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • A lil bit of crying never hurt no one no how. LOL. You both will be fine. And just think of how better of a nights sleep she and you will both get. Better to do it now and not when DD is 7! :).

    Answer by stepho345 at 11:33 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

  • I get that feeling too when I have to let my child CIO. However, they didn't go to bed upset persay, they just went to bed hoping you'd change your mind and let them out of their bed. She'll be fine in the morning and she won't even remember. Don't worry yourself about it. she'll be okay.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:14 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I am not anti-CIO but I will tell you this. We have motherly instincts for a reason. The ONE time I tried CIO with my son, I felt awful. It didn't work and I still feel guilty for it to this day. That tells me, that in MY case it was the wrong thing to do.
    He is 2 now and I still lay with him until he falls asleep. I figured that when he was old enough to understand, I would be able to tuck him in and leave him to fall asleep alone. I was right. Just last night he told me "My blankie. Mommy out door." I left and he fell asleep. I am so glad I waited. The transition will be easy on both of us. He is ready. :)
    I know it works for some people, but I think if it makes you uneasy, you should rethink it.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 12:17 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • oh i went through the same exact thing. i was spoiling her by sleeping her in my bed and transfering her to the crib. so i made sure she came home with me for a whole weeek and we cio. yes i gave in some times but other times i knew i had to let her do it a little longer and longer. and it worked beautifully. training the grandparents was a little harder. lol. she is 18months and when i say nite nite she knows its time for bed. i give her the paci and blankie and she goes to bed once i turn out the light. ofcoures somenights she wants to snuggle with mama and i give in but most nights she goes on her own. its hard. its extremely difficult but its so worth it. but like another poster said its not fore veryone but it is hard on you as a mother. good luck.

    Answer by lambdarose at 7:55 PM on Oct. 14, 2010