Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do you feel more secure?

I have been feeling so insecure in my relationship with my DH that it is killing me and I'm not sure what to do about it!

Answer Question
 
Darla47

Asked by Darla47 at 7:07 AM on Oct. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,806 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would try talking to him. If you are disconnected and feeling insucre then you need to explain this to him. He might not even realize that you are upset or bothered.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:08 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • shruggingHow long have you been married and what is making you feel this way?

    1lilgirl

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 7:42 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I know this sounds silly but why dont you try going and getting your haircut or your nails done....just do something to make you feel better about yourself. sometimes that will help me feel more secure then you try to get over the hurdle with the DH that night with just a little bit more confidence or feeling good about yourself. I dont think its a permanent fix but it might kick start a solution. GL
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 7:42 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Talk to him about it, I'll bet he thinks you are awesome. Sometimes hearing hm say it is what snaps me out of it. My hubby and I make a point to compliment each other daily, you would be surpised at how much it helps! Start my complimenting him, and he will catch on. Make it real compliments, though, no fake stuff just looking for a return compliment.
    momof3josephs

    Answer by momof3josephs at 8:24 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I agree with doing something nice for yourself to help you self esteem, but also have a good lomg talk with your dh about how your feeling. Im sure everything will work out but you do need his support.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 9:00 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Do something for yourself that makes you feel happy. Then, talk to your husband and let him know what you're feeling and how he can help you feel better about yourself.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:36 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I tend to be insecure. It bites. It sucks. Its a reality for some. Ugh! But...after some counseling the only thing I've found to really work is to focus on myself. Do things I enjoy and take care of me. Make a list of things I enjoy and go down the list one by one. What ends up happening is that I become happy. I smile more and it attracts people to me. The attention helps me feel secure along with the knowledge that I can take care of myself. I honestly think secure people just have a better base of feelings of being loved and cared about. Insecurity. Comes from not having that base.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:56 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Then you need to talk to him about it. It's the only way you will get over it, is with talking to him and his help. Good luck.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • why are you feeling this way? what has triggered that or have you always felt that way.
    i found that since i am a stay at home mom and don't contribute financially to the household that i have become very insecure in our relationship....but other then that i know who i am and what i can do and i feel good about these things.
    analyse by yourself what exactly it is that makes you feel this way? write it down...go over it step by step....if your husband contributes to that insecurity you should talk to him. good luck!!
    Ladyblue38

    Answer by Ladyblue38 at 10:29 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • How to feel better or more secure in your relationship or within yourself in general...... totally depends on "Why" you are feeling this way.

    One can not make smoething better, or fix it. If they do not know what's causing the issue to begin with. So, that's where you must start. Looking deep within yourself, and being totally honest with yourself (which is always a hard thing to do) as to why you are feeling the way you are. Once you do that, then you can actually start working to change how you feel, view things,etc..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:02 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN