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2 Bumps

If my husband is arrogantly making comments to me that make me cry, and says he doesn't realize it - is that verbal abuse?

This comingup weekend we are hving a yard sale at my grandmother's house with her, and since I still have some bby fat on me sonce i've had my son almost 2 years ago, I told my husband with the money I make, I wanted to get a few items to make me feel a little bit better about my "deflated beach ball." Well, his respnse was 'how do you know you're going to make any money?' So, I cried about it and then I shot a rude comment back at him. Sometimes I feel as if we aren't married.It's only been 7 months of marriage, but feels like 10 years! Help!

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djmommy102908

Asked by djmommy102908 at 10:07 AM on Oct. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I am not seeing how asking if you are going to make any money is hurtful. Are you otherwise depressed and feeling insecure. If he doesn't realize it maybe he thinks you are being overly sensitive. Talk to him about it
    mamakrysoftwo

    Answer by mamakrysoftwo at 10:09 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • It does sound a bit like you are being overly sensitive. And no, that is not verbal abuse when you do not like what someone says. Talk to your hubby about your feelings.
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 10:11 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • It's not verbal abuse when you just don't like what he says. He wasn't being rude or mean to you, he was asking a question. I think you are just being way too sensitive. Are you feeling insecure or depressed about other things? It just sounds like you got worked up over nothing.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 10:16 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • well the key for me is that you say: "He's not aware of it", so that means to me that he's not trying to be hurtful on purpose. Your best bet would be to tell him it bothers you and chances are he'll stop.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:17 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I don't see how what he said was bad? Sounded like an honest question to me. I think you may just be overly sensitive with things. I agree with chefronswife. Not liking what he says isn't verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is purposeful mean, hateful and degrading remarks. Asking the question he did, doesn't constitute any of those things.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:18 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • you never know if you will make money on a yard sale...he wasnt saying anything negative about you
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:21 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • That is not verbal abuse honey, i have the feeling as though you are a bit on the sensitive side and insecure....you are letting things like that get to you. if he does that on a regular basis then talk to him about it but if that just happens once in a while he does not mean to hurt your feelings or verbally abuse you....that is just how guys talk sometimes.
    good luck and don't let these few pounds left from your pregnancy get you down like that....some women bounce back faster then others...some never do....who cares you have a healthy baby that is more important right????
    Ladyblue38

    Answer by Ladyblue38 at 10:21 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I'm often oversensitive like this. Usually means my period is coming up or I'm ovulating. Really. I've kept track and have been able to notice it. And sometimes the marriage alone makes me oversensitive. You're having your own battle in your head sometimes I'd guess. Most likely you cried because you feel bad about your weight and the money was to help that, not what he said. You were fishing for him to say something nice to make you feel better about your body. So when none of that happened you reacted poorly. Try and notice these things. Also, your marriage is young. Maybe you could benefit from some counseling together. Just reaching there. I know me and me DH sure could.
    donnareedonLSD

    Answer by donnareedonLSD at 10:37 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Before reading the other comments, I want to tell you that I think you're over-reacting. Seriously.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:43 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I would hate to see what would happen if you spilled milk. You are being a drama queen and what your hubby said is a true honest answer. You don't know if you will make any money. You need to just calm the hell down and dry your tears.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 10:46 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

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