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4 Bumps

should we just skip birthday parties for now?

every birthday party i have thrown for my daughters have been lacking people. when i say lacking, i mean, my sister and her sons show up. thats all. i invite a bunch of people, and they RSVP, but just don't come. my daughter has her party on saturday, and only 1 person has RSVPed. grrr. my daughters don't deserve that. i'm thinking of just going on vacation next year. i know i'm not throwing my 4 year old a party in december. i'm going to take her to get a mani/pedi.

what would you do? throw a party, or go on vacation?

Answer Question
 
gracefulsky

Asked by gracefulsky at 10:37 AM on Oct. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,260 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • How frustrating!! I hate that people do not take rsvping seriously. Wither they do not respond or they do not show up. I would just sit down and talk to my little one and ask if they want to try again or if they want a special day just for them out with Mommy.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:39 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • to avoid disappointment and waste of time and money, yeah, I'd make it more low key or change what you do altogether. Like go out somewhere instead.

    I will tell you there was this one family's house we wouldn't go into. Nice people, just the house was disgusting inside and we just couldn't bear being there. I'm not saying that's your case, but that is the reason I had for not going one time, although I didn't tell the parents that, I made up some Dr's Appt excuse.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:39 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • make it fun for the child and go on vacation, but still have a b-day cake where ever you go.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:40 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • i would go on vacation but do something to show thats its your dd's bday so she doesn't feel left out..even if it is just you and the dh...get a cake and go to the park...doesn'tr really matter if anyone comes.
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 10:40 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Why do you think this is happening?
    Do you follow up the invitations with a call?
    Do not let your hurt and frustration get to the child, her/his self esteen needs to be protected.
    Perhaps a mani pedi with just one other girl that you pick up and return.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:49 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • i'm not sure why this would be happening. my oldest, i won't be having a birthday party because her birthday is the 20th of december... and it's just never worked out. honestly, i don't call them back, but when i see them, i talk to them about it.... and i email. (i don't do phones unless i have to.) my middle child had fun at her last birthday.... but it stunk that only one of her friends was there. they actually were late, because they were out of town, BUT they showed up! it meant a lot.

    i'm a single mom. i think since the divorce, people aren't sure what we have in common. it's not easy to have friends that i have something in common with. any people with kids my girls' ages are older and/or married.
    gracefulsky

    Comment by gracefulsky (original poster) at 10:58 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • We don't throw parties for any of our kids.  We just take them out to eat at their choice of restaraunt.  Then they get gifts and cake (usually homemade).  That's it.  They've never complained and they've all been to "real" parties for their friends.  My son turned 9 earlier this month and it was the first time he asked if he could have friends over but I ended up being sick so I said, no.  He didn't even get any gifts, just $9 in a card which he spent a few days later.  That's a pretty typical birthday in our house.  My middle daughter turns 8 in a few weeks and we have nothing planned for her.

    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:09 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • My brother's family doesn't do bday parties anymore - the family takes a minivacation. They've gone to the zoo for one kids bday, the state aquarium for another's, etc.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:55 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

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