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can someone tell me why you shouldnt wait to punish a child

like say my son says a bad word why shouldnt i take away his right to dessert?

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mommy06and09

Asked by mommy06and09 at 11:39 AM on Oct. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (531 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • How old is your child?

    I'd say for 6y and up that's just fine.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 11:42 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • You can do that, but you have to tell him immediately so that he connects his actions with the punishment. You can't wait until dinner to say "oh by the way you can't have dessert, because you did that thing earlier." It's not as effective and it creates a sense of unfairness for the child.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 11:42 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • you can. Just let him know right then, when he says the bad word, that he will not be getting desert. Later in the evening, when he does not have his desert, all you have to od is remind him "remember you're not getting desert because you swore earlier" he'll remember. I think that rule is for super young kids, who might forget what they got in trouble for in the first place.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:42 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I think it's better to give him/her a warning the first time and let him/her know that if it happens again he/she will not receive a treat (i.e. dessert, cartoons, games, etc.) that's just my opinion and that's also what I do with my kids. I also put them in time out; 1 minute per age. For example, my oldest son is 6 years old so he'd get a 6 minute time out. He'll get a minute added on for any word said during his time out or for crying. Hope this helps! =)
    miszdebby24

    Answer by miszdebby24 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • hmm why would you think you cant punish them? why is time out not an option? soon as they play up give them the punishment. usually a time out is sufficient. i am not sure if dessert is good or bad.. i suppose no one needs a dessert but maybe give them time out and if they can show they have learnt their lesson then you can give them the dessert but dont tell them you wont get dessert if you play up as then you are using food as a reward.. tell them why they have done something wrong and tell them they need to make amends. remember kids are kids, and make mistakes.
    Weldo1983

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • You cant wait b/c the child will forget what he/she has done by the time dinner time come around and just thinks you are being unfair to him/her. You have to address the issue when it happens and make sure the punishment fits the crime.
    AingealsBabies

    Answer by AingealsBabies at 11:44 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I think a timeout standing in the corner for ten minutes is a little more sufficient, and can be done right when it happens, and you can do it over and over again. What do you do if he swears twice in a day? He's not gonna remember by the next dessert. I guess I don't serve dessert every night so it wouldn't work with my kids.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:52 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • First time warning.. second time time out 1 min. per age.. add minutes if they get up out of time out. TalkingCrying is not wrong in time out . Just don't respond back to them Taking desert away would only work if the cuss word was said more than 2 times at supper time.
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 11:55 AM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I think first time is a warning as well and providing the reason behind your warning. My personal view is that being told what it is they did wrong and why its wrong, is just as important as a punishment. I use everything as a lesson to learn what's right and what's inappropriate. The more they understand why their actions were inappropriate and the impact it will have them or others, the more than can use lessons for multiple things, and as they get older make wiser decisions. (Swear words in my opinion show not only disrespect but ignorance and who wants to be viewed by others as unintelligent when it comes to how we discuss issues, opinions or negotiate, it doesn't really get us very far...so that would be discussion even with a 6 yr old in terms they can understand and identify with.)
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:27 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • The general rule of thumb is to never use food as a reward or a punishment. That can cause issues later with weight vs. emotions. But no reason you can't delay punishment. People say they won't remember. Bull. Ever promise something, forget, and your toddler reminds you hours later you said they could have a cookie? They do remember. So you can be creative, think about a fitting consequence, and get back to them about what the punishment is. It works very well for us.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:23 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

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