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Are any moms of preschoolers concerned with bullying? Has it ever happened to your child?


Asked by AlisonAstair at 12:23 PM on Oct. 14, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (11)
  • I'm not overly concerned about it when she starts. Her cousin was in day care and picked up bullying like behavior from there and we dealt with it with him and my DD. Basically we taught him to control his bullying so it stopped, and we taught her how to protect herself against it. So in the end they both learned from it.
    My daughter has a good heart, loves to share, and will compromise if she encounters certain situations where she can. If hitting is involved she doesn't hesitate to tell the kid it's inappropriate as well as an adult. In most cases she's the one that soothes the situation though. She loves being involved with other kids, and getting them together so EVERYONE is having fun. She's basically a little social butterfly there. And if she can't fix a problem with a kid she knows to come to an adult for advise or help.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Yes. My daughter is delayed, so that makes her an easy target. She is a very happy child and probably wouldn't understand if someone was bullying her and I kind of think that makes it worse. I ask her every couple of weeks if there is anyone in school she doesn't like and she never tells me there is.

    Honestly at this point, I'm more scared of what my reaction would be if I'd find out she was being bullied. :-/

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:34 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I am in the same boat as AllAboutKeeley.
    I don't think it has ever happened, and I ask him often.
    I also hope it never does.

    Answer by jasesmommy0529 at 12:43 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I would be concerned about it if I didn't homeschool.

    Answer by Erin814 at 12:25 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I used to work with a woman whose preschooler was bullied by a kid at daycare. My coworker could not understand why this kid would constantly hit and throw things at her son. Then she happened to meet the bully's mom. They were both picking up their kids at the same time one day, and the bully's mom was trying to talk to a caregiver while her son bounced off the walls. My coworker said the woman completely ignored her kid for a while, then suddenly turned around and SCREAMED at him, out of the blue. My coworker was shocked, but she felt sorry for the kid, too. It made her think that maybe the kid was a terror because either 1) he desperately wanted his mom's attention, but she was too stressed/selfish/whatever to pay attention, so acting out was the only way he had to make her look at him, or 2) he had no idea how to interact with other kids so he just did to them what he did to his mom.

    Answer by mawd at 1:02 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Sure. I'm not "worried" but I am vigilant. I worked with kids in school so I know what happens and how bad it really can get. In preschool my main thing I look at is teacher bullies and parent bullies. While I don't think he has been "bullied" I know he has had small normal kid arguments. And one adult parent who deliberately does not invite my son based on some discrimination issues. I don't say anything but I am aware. I'm not really concerned but if at some point in the future this adult opinion impacts my child then I will think about how to proceed. Hard stuff but I try to be in tune with my child's on goings - what he says and what he doesn't say. If I worried about it though it would drive me crazy. I do however have ideas about how I would respond of there were issues. Proactive I guess than reactive.

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:34 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • not at all, my daughters shcool watches them VERY well, any time anything has happened (another kid hit her ect) they make a report and are able to tell me exactly what happened, i was VERY upset once when i picked her up and she showed me a pretty big place on her arm where a boy had bit her, but when i spoke to her teacher she informed me that it wouldent happen agean because they have a rule that if your child bites twice they are kicked out of the program ............ im not one of those mothers that freaks out on ever little thing i know all kids are different and kids will be kids, and ive taught my daughter whats ok and whats not and she tells me every day if someone pushed her, took her toy ect (and she tells on herself too lol)

    Answer by ArianasMama2007 at 8:14 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I hope that her teacher's are keeping a special eye on her. It makes it difficult when you child won't tell you anything. Sometime you can learn what goes on through playing with a dollhouse or something with her. You can pretend to have a doll say something mean and have another doll stand up for themselves saying "Don't talk to me like that. It's mean." Children learn through modeling and it helps them learn what they should answer if something mean happens.
    I've found that many teachers don't realize that bullying can happen to that young a child. I'm starting a blog on this topic because with that I see I'm very concerned. I'm a behavioral specialist/parent coach and work with pre school children, parents and teachers. Seems like there needs to be a lot of education in this area. I'm working on developing a program for parents and teachers and am looking for input of the concerns from both parents and teachers.

    Comment by AlisonAstair (original poster) at 12:47 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • That's so sad to hear! I think you idea #2 was probably the right one. No one taught him how to act appropriately and he was just copying his mom's behavior. She didn't seem to have many coping skills either!

    Comment by AlisonAstair (original poster) at 1:05 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Thanks so much for your comment! I love the fact that you're vigilant! So often mom's kind of "blow off" comments that kids make and just feel that "kids will be kids." I'd love to correspond a little more with you because you've worked in preschools. I just posted a blog on my website: I'm a behavioral specialist and am really concerned about what I've been seeing in preschools and the little that the mom's and teachers do about it. I will be working on writing materials for teachers and parents on this issue. Bullying has gotten worse over the yars and we all have to work together to help our children. I'd love for you to read my first blog statement and tell me if you agree because of the experience you've had in schools. I'm not trying to get people to my site and don't want you to feel that this is an ad of any kind. I'm just looking for concerned parents and would love your input!

    Comment by AlisonAstair (original poster) at 3:53 PM on Oct. 14, 2010