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i have a question that I dont understand.I gave birth to my handsome son 4 months ago. well i think i do but I dont know if i am exactly right. i feel that my son's dad has come to the conclusion of giving up because he does not want responsibility and most of all he does not want to be a real man and provider for his child. read below and tell me if i am wrong or right.

so i begin to notice a change in him like a month or so after i had the baby. like he would hardly call and ask about the baby or even asked if the baby needed anything. so supposedly he said its because we dont live together he cannot be that involved. but when we lived together he didnt want to do anything. so i moved out the apartment i paid for and moved back home with my parents until after i hadthe baby and finish college in the few months. because he was not helping at all with the apartment and knew once i had the baby i wouldnt be able to work for a couple months. so who would pay the rent the bills? i couldnt depend on him. while i was pregnant i worked 30-40 per week and attended college full time until i was 8 months pregnant. i dont understand why he waited until i got pregnant and had our son to be this way give up. but when i was not pregnant and stuff oh its baby i love you and calling me all day everyday


Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Oct. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You have to give him a choice. Either he is completely involved with your son and provides for him or he signs away his rights. I do not at all believe that any parent should have rights to a child they're not going to provide for or be involved with. If he does decide to be involved make his obligation legal. That means child support and visitation rights. If he doesn't decide to be involved then let him know he'll need to sign away his rights and he'll no longer have obligation to the child.

    It's not right for a parent to consider themselves a father/mother if they don't provide for and be involved with their children. To me that's not a parent and they don't deserve rights if they're not going to take part in that child's life.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:30 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like he wasn't ready to be a dad, and it didn't hit him until it was too late. That's really sad for you and your baby.
    He owes you child support. You need to consult legal counsel (most counties have free family legal services available).
    You need to stand up for your baby, and make sure no one is coming in and out of his life.
    Unfortunately, this happens a lot. It's so sad when it does, too, but we cannot control the way he feels.

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:32 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Because he is probably not ready to be a father. Is he young? Only time will tell if he will step up to the plate and be a father to your little one. Sorry you are going through this. Been there, done that and it is no fun.

    Answer by treynlisa at 12:30 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I agree with musicpiseces but that is no excuse. File for support Dear, you have that child to think of. Hopefully that will bring some reality to him if not at least your baby won't have to do without and you won't have to struggle.

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 12:38 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I think he thought it would be different than it really is. Sounds like he is not ready at all. He is not a man yet. Still just a boy...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Oct. 14, 2010