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How do you find the time you need to stay the best (stressfree as possible) mom?

Seriously, I can't seem to get the time for me that I need to just unwind. When the kids go to bed, I'm usually right there with them "passing out". So that means that my shower usually doesn't happen often (not near as often as I want one.) I can't find five minutes (even when dh is home) to just be alone and chill. Either he or one of the kids is bugging me about something. It just gets overwhelming and stressful when you aren't the kindof mom who can handle the constant neediness of not only kids but dh. I physically hurt because I cannot take the constant neediness of those around me. And dh doesn't seem to understand that I've been "cooped" up all day, I need some me time. I feel like I'm the one who always gets pulled down or held back because of the kids. If we both want to do something, but kids can't go, who gets to go always? Not me. He just doesn't listen when I try to tell him!!!

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Sarasmoonflower

Asked by Sarasmoonflower at 4:18 PM on Oct. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,093 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • My personal view.

    I made time. I realized and accepted that it was impossible for me to be responsible for and meet all of everyone else's wants and needs ALL the time. Some needs, yes I had to be the one who met them. But not all. I had to let go of that feeling that "I" had to be the one to do and be responsible for everything. Once I did that. Finding/making time for me, became easier and easier. And the more time I was able to find/make as my son grew older.

    Whenever I try to explain my feelings to my husband. Regardless of the issue, I always do my utmost best to try and talk to him/explain to him in the manner (communication style) in which he understands. I learned many years ago, that it wasn't that my husband didn't "Listen" to me most of the time.. He honestly did not understand/comprehend what I was saying to him. Due to the manner in which I was trying to communicate (and vice a versa)..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:28 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • i am right there with ya mama. hang in there.
    anxious1stimer

    Answer by anxious1stimer at 4:38 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • In order to b a good mom and wife u need alone time. It helps u reenergize. Our gym has daycare. Consider going for 30min in the morning when u still have energy.
    Vero0724

    Answer by Vero0724 at 11:16 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

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