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PLEASE HELP!!

its not that i dont love my husband anymore because i do i love him more than anything in the world...but he has been yelling at me and saying mean stuff to me more and more over the past couple of months....he dosent have a job right now and we are struggling really bad...we have a 10 month old daughter and a son on the way....so things are hard but he makes them worse..i ask him if he stilll loves me and he says yeah...but i dont always believe him...i dont know what to do...please help

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jesslovesyou08

Asked by jesslovesyou08 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,704 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Financial problems can cause SO many problems in a relationship, IF you let it. I know that my husband gets really grouchy & kind of mean when we're having a hard time. I stay at home & he provides for our family on his own, so he gets really stressed out about bills & such. It's still no excuse for them to yell and be mean, though. When he starts yelling or saying mean things, you should try to remain calm & remind him that you understand that he's stressed, and that you are too, but that yelling and fighting will only make things worse. When times are tough, you need to work together to come up with a solution. If he says he loves you, I'm sure he does. Men just don't handle stress as well as women do--- they tend to let it consume them & all of their thoughts. Good luck! If you need to vent, feel free to message me. Sounds like we're in the same boat, except for the baby on the way part!
    heather.huckaby

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 6:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Well, I know you already realize that he is under a lot of pressure. With the struggling, not having a job, and another on the way, how do you feel? Just imagine him and how he feels now.I know my husband thinks he has to make all the money, pay for everything, "feel like a man""do manly stuff". Must be something in the man-gene. Anyway, the pressure is hard when everything is falling around your ears, so thats what you have to think about. Give him space to think about getting a job, how to stop struggling, and the baby on the way. Just be there!
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:49 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • Possibly stop asking him about loving you and keep showing him that you love and trust him. I am disturbed about his yelling at you. If he strikes you, then you should consider consulting a group who protects battered women.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • He's just stressed because he's out of work and another baby is on the way. This type of thing is very stressful to a marriage. Try having a talk with him, say you realize he is totally stressed, but you are in this together, you are on his side. You don't want him to think your the enemy in this. I said something similar to my dh awhile back, I think he got it! LOL He now acts like we are patners in this whole thing. I am always on his side.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:59 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • WELL YOU KNOW SOMETIMES IT IS HARDER ON MEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT FINANCIALLY STABLE ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE A FFAMILY THEY HAVE TO TAKE CARE O IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND HIM BEING OUT OF WORK IS REALLY HARD ON HIM SO JUST TALK TO HIM AND SEE HOW YOU CAN HELP HIM IN THIS TIME OF NEED AND SEE WHAT IS BOTHERING HIM THE MOST AND JUST BE SUPPORTIVE. YOU KNOW BECAUSE WITH TWO KIDS AND NO JOB HE IS PROBABLY AT HIS WITS END AND TRY TO TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WAY HE TALKS TO YOU AND ABOUT YOU AND SEE IF HE CAN WORK ON THAT/
    sniyah

    Answer by sniyah at 11:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

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