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Am I awful?

I'm youngest of 3 - 2 older brothers each time I got pregnant - everyone always felt bad for my divorced brother. he finally got married and she never has been very interested in kids or my pregnancies and neither visited me at hospital and waited a week or so (they live in town) to come see the babies when they were born..etc Now they are having a nephew and send pictures & updates on her every moment etc. I am trying hard but feel a little like - oh so now you want to talk and you never had ANY interest in me or my kids but now I have to baby you and coo over you?? I feel bad feeling this way but I can't help it. Each time I was pregnant I felt guilty about it esp. with my last because>.."poor. (brother)" when i announced he responded I now you understand that I'm not happy...i'm tired of feeling bad for people and giving up my happiness. thanks for letting me vent!

Answer Question
 
beachgirl7970

Asked by beachgirl7970 at 9:33 PM on Oct. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (70 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If he showed no interest in your children he shouldn't expect you to show interest in his. Only show interest if you want to, but don't let anyone guilt you into feeling something you don't. That's not right for anyone involved.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:36 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • no not at all
    regian19832002

    Answer by regian19832002 at 9:36 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Okay, so he was unhappy during the births of your children and now has found happiness? Try understanding his point of view and his maturity level at that time in his and your lives. He may not have understood the joy of parenthood or may have been a little afraid of being around a baby? Either that, or he has been a very selfish person. Move on and take this opportunity to bond with your brother and his wife. She might even need your help with a new baby at home.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 9:39 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like my SIL. She recently got married and is having a baby soon. We had our 3rd out here in NC about 20 months ago and she couldnt take time to come home or anything when he was born. (She went to school about an hour away). Well her and her hubby think were all going to the hospital when she is in labor to sit and wait with our 3 kids for her to have her baby! FAT CHANCE sweetheart! I dount Ill be making the hour drive to go see her. When she comes down here (my il-laws live down here) I'll make my "effort" You get back what you give and Im not bending over backwards to do a thing!
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 9:39 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I think that you are feeling completely normal feelings and I would feel the same way. :)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:41 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like a selfish brother. Arrgh. Sometimes you can't help the way you feel. I think I would remain distant. I would not be able to deal with them
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:48 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • I agree with all above.....................

    You have "NO REASON" at all to feel bad .
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:14 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • yeah i know that is your brother & you love him but i wouldnt feel bad
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:19 PM on Oct. 14, 2010

  • You're not awful. Have you talked to your brother about it?
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:35 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

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