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2 Bumps

Am i asking for too much from my sd?

So it is going on 2 months this week that she has been living w/us.She will be 15 in Dec.Never has she lifted a finger here, i do the cooking& cleaning& the only thing she does is bathes eats showers& uses the laptop for about 3 hrs straight, i pick her up after school & have to wait about 15 mins b4 she comes out because she was either w/a teacher or getting a book(or so she says), so today i had a talk w/her n hubby bcuz last night he told her to do dishes& she sd no& didnt do them, i told her we all had responsibilities, i was to cook she was to wash dishes n so to take out the trash, well today she still didnt wash dishes i tell so wth??? he says its because u didnt tell her to wash them, this pissed me off i told him no one has to remind me that we need dinner cooked& we had just had this talk earlier, why do i have to ask her to do it, she knows its a choir.I told him since he saying anything not to expect anything

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gabby06

Asked by gabby06 at 12:52 AM on Oct. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,830 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • from me, i sd i wasnt going to cook for either one of them only me n my boys, im just tired that she wont help around& he knows it, we walked in her bathroom & the hair on her brush was just nasty, toothpaste on the sink& hair all over& she expects fo rit to clean itself, i also had a talk w/her about that,
    gabby06

    Comment by gabby06 (original poster) at 12:54 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Definately get together with your hubby first and see what yall should do- maybe a chore chart for her, and if she doesn't do the dishes, by the time she is supposed to, you do them quietly and take the "pay" out of her allowance. When Sunday comes and she is paid less, tell her you got it for doing her work...
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:55 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Make a chore chart for her, then if she has not done the dishes by the time she is supposed to, you do them quietly. When it's time for her allowance, pay her less, and tell her you kept that part for doing her job.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:58 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • oops sorry, posted twice. thrice now. getting my points though! lol.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 1:01 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I have this problem with my 13 yr old ss.... he does nothing around this house, but eat, sleep, and sit on the computer. oh he has chores too, but he forgets and has to be reminded repeatedly, usually his dad just gets tired of asking him and does it for him..... it's so frustrating.
    TXColter

    Answer by TXColter at 1:41 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I think 15 is a little too old for a chore chart. If you and your hubby aren't on the same page, nothing much is really going to help the situation. In my house, if she didn't do her chores and keep up with her responsibilities then her privileges would be taken away - no going out with friends, no going over to anyone else's house, no computer!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:14 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Hmmm sounds like normal! Let's face it if all teens acted like you I would be totally surprised. They may look like adults but they still have a mind of a child. That mind is developing until 21!! So take it from me this is normal.
    I would keep reminding them of their chores. But here is the thing when you do that then they say "why do you keep telling me? I heard you the first ten times?" Even though they would still be sitting in front of the computer.
    I give my 16 y/o the "you need to help me" 10 minute warning. Then in 5 minutes I do it again, then after 5 minutes I say get up now and come help me. This is the same thing I had to do when she was 2.. So you see they get bigger but their brains are not quite matured.
    I do understand your frustration. I am right there with you sista. Good luck. Please feel free to pm me if you wanna chat.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:35 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • i guess the thing that gets me upset is that all she has to do is say no one time n there goes hubby washing or doing her cleaning, i want to tell her or get after her but i stop myself because he should be the one telling her, its like if he doesnt worry about anything.
    gabby06

    Comment by gabby06 (original poster) at 10:13 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • If she won't wash the dishes, give her dirty dishes to eat off of. Only wash enough to feed everyone else.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 10:49 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

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