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2 Bumps

How to deal with a mil that..

Ok I always knew that I couldn't trust my mil because she always talk crap about her daughter's husbands. I knew that if she do that with them, why not with me? Yesterday we were arguing and she told me that her, as a mother have to love with whoever her kids decide to be for her children sake. That if it wasn't for that then she don't. So i asked her, are you telling me that the only reason you "love" me is because of Steve? SHe was like no, no, no I never said that I don't love you I'm just saying that I do it because of my son. Aha so how that is better? We, sadly, are moving with her for three months until I give birth or my husband get a job were they give him 40hrs for sure since the one that have right know are cutting his hours waaaaay to much and we had to give up our apartment. I don't need her love but I do NEED and DEMAND her respect as me as a wife of her son. She is constantly telling him to lie to me about...

 
sweetyazfl

Asked by sweetyazfl at 10:07 AM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,039 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I feel so sorry for you! Since you have to live with her for a while! I would rather live on the streets then with my MiL, she sounds similar to yours. I have been married to her son for three years now, I have bent over backwards for her and it never gets any better. I stopped trying and just gave up!
    Good Luck to you!
    jasesmommy0529

    Answer by jasesmommy0529 at 10:13 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I did, and it was the best thing to do. We live about 15 minutes away and we have a 10 month old and she has came over twice to see him! I could go on and on about stuff she has done to me, I had to get the negative person out of my life, she was making my life horrible!
    jasesmommy0529

    Answer by jasesmommy0529 at 10:18 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • My MIL is exactly the same. She can't take it that I am now the one her son goes to when he's sick, I'm the nurturing figure in his life now. I think she resents me for taking him out of her sphere of controll. Look honey, I've decided to take the high road with that female. When we were also forced to live with them, I killed her with absolute kindness. Even though sometimes I'd go into our room and scream into the pillows. At times I had to grind my teeth not to say anything. At the end of the day, I looked like a sweetheart and everybody thought she was a total bitch for treating me the way she did. As for your DH, as long as you live there, he's open to his mother's controlling ways. You'd better tell him to take his tampon out and tell his mother that he will not lie to or disrespect you and she'd better not even suggest it in the future. I'm afraid only he can fix that. Good luck with the pregnancy, momma
    CassyzMom

    Answer by CassyzMom at 10:26 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • stupid stuff like money and he doesn't lie to me he alwasy tell me oh my mom told me say this to you. It's annoying! Why can't she have some kind of respect for her children spouses? I just need like something if you have deal with this kind of mil.
    sweetyazfl

    Comment by sweetyazfl (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • That's how I feel doing. Giving up on her since clearly she doesn't care at all for me. Hopefully dh wil get called asap from the few plases he apply and we can move soon.
    sweetyazfl

    Comment by sweetyazfl (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • But think about it~if you wasn't with her son, she wouldn't know you and wouldn't be obligated to love you! Or am I missing something? I feel the same way about my DIL. I love her, she has a great personality and we get along very well. By the way, she would NEVER argue with me, out of respect for who I am and how my son treats me, with respect...but if she wasn't with my son, I wouldn't know her and wouldn't love her in the sense of how I love her as my DIL..And secondly, your husband is fueling the fire between you and your MIL. If he knows that the two of you don't see eye to eye on things he should be the one trying to resolve the issues between the two of you, instead of telling you things that she has said because after all, he is the common denominator in this relationship. And one more thing while I'm at it, if your husband is telling you things that she has said about you, don't you know he's saying things to her too?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:24 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • @ MOM2MYBABES I understand that but it was the way she say it wit a few more comment. I argue with her because I am fed up with her. This are a few and stupid yet annoying thing she say: She call me one day to tell me or better yet demand that I change my future daughter name because she can't say it and doesn't like the name that I choose, Audrey Grace will be her name no matter what. Also my son went a few times to the neurosurgeon because of fluids around his brain she CALL me to let me know that it was my fautl because I didn't open my leg wide enough when I was giving birth to him. First that not the reason for the fluid and how wide did I open my legs she can't know because she wasn't allow on my room for the labor. It's not me.. I tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and tryyyyyyy but she just keep it going.
    sweetyazfl

    Comment by sweetyazfl (original poster) at 11:31 AM on Oct. 15, 2010