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3 Bumps

How do you get over a past relationship when things were left unsaid???

My son's father and I split up for about 6 months this last year. I met this guy and we dated for a little bit.. He was 10 years older than me but he treated me soooo good.. My family was 100% against him since they still were not over the whole fact that my son's father and I split. Anyways, I didn't know what I wanted at that time and split up with this person. His past relationships that i was aware of he usually dumped the girls and moved on.. Not with me. He didn't want to let me go. So he would email me non-stop since I had blocked his number for harrassing me. Needless to say he got the last word. Now I am trying to convince myself that I made the right decision and that he did show signs of being a controlling manipulator. For some reason I still think about him. I even dream about him hurting me or choking me. I just want to be 100% over him so i can move on with my son's father once and for all! What do I do?

Answer Question
 
maxwell488

Asked by maxwell488 at 11:19 AM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (29 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If he is hurting you, and it sounds like he is, leave him the hell alone. If you are used to being hurt , this will be harder to do than you may think. When people are constantly hurt, their subconscience knows it can survive with unhappiness. It sounds crazy , but the subconscience finds it hard to attempt to be happy. We are all scared of the unknown. The most liberating feeling is to know within yourself when you are through with a relationship. Lingering,{ "what ifs}, will ruin your present situation in every way. Not only will it ruin your relationship with baby- daddy. It has the power to ruin your relationship with yourself. Choose not to be unhappy!!!!!!!!
    KISS1224

    Answer by KISS1224 at 11:37 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • He is an ex for a reason. Just remember that.
    tiddliwinks

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 11:59 AM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • You may need to reconnect with him and let the relationship play out. I was with a guy, also quite a bit older than me, for 3 years. We broke it off suddenly and I moved on. Or so I thought. After about a year I went looking for him and we dated again for a few months. I realized he was a loser and was able to be 100% done with him.
    If I hadn't done that I'd probably still be thinking I was in love with him. I'm now happily married and only think of him in a negative way.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 7:15 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • write a letter to him, everything you want to say to him...then burn it..you will get that last word and you can do this without him running his trap! it works wonders..way better then trying to talk to someone that doesnt listen and only says hateful things..and most of all hangs up to make sure he gets the last word in..dont let him tear your world apart on what ifs...just write it..say it..burn it...you will be done with IT! gl
    kids_r_gr8

    Answer by kids_r_gr8 at 10:07 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • You move on. When you think about him, shake your head no, and move on to other thoughts....you do this until he becomes a faint memory....don't romantisize him....sounds like he was very controlling and on his way to being a toxic relationship...if he has a pattern of dumping women, then you probably hurt his ego by dumping him first and that is why he was harrassing you...not because he loved you but because he is narcissistic and could not believe you dumped him...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:16 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • When you think about him train yourself to think about something else and with time it will get easier
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:04 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

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