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How can I get my 9yr old daughter and my 12yr old daughter to be more respectull to each other?

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Stormy0225

Asked by Stormy0225 at 12:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (77 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • you cant!! LOL my sister and i are 2 and a half yrs apart and HATED each other our entire childhood...you cant MAKE them do it, they have to bond and WANT to do it on their own...you can make house rules about respect tho and then punish them when they break them no matter who it is that is being disrespected at the time...
    mamagee1218

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I'm not quite sure what problem you're having. Is being verbally disrespectful, or taking things that belong to the other without asking? Probably just everything! With the parents and children that I work with, I have found that sitting down with them, telling the things that you feel are a problem and then making "Family Rules". This can be, talking respectfully, asking permission before borrowing, not going in the other's bedroom without permission, etc. If there is something that you don't want on the list, you don't all it to go on. Often when kids talk about their feelings and have input on the rules, they are more likely to abide by them. Have them come up with consequences for breaking them. When kids have input and feel that they can help solve the problem, they often are more successful. Have them write up the rules on a poster board. They could do it together and decorate it. Be considtent with consequences
    AlisonAstair

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 12:32 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Its starts early. You teach your children how to respect one another...I have five biological children, two adopted children and a step daughter. My children may not see eye to eye on different things but they know how to respect, care and love one another and that began at birth...Since your children are 9 & 12, the problem cannot be fixed overnight. You have to get to the root of the problem, solve it and work it out from there before it gets worse. Having a sibling relationship is one of the best relationships in the world...and don't let the hype fool you that siblings don't get along because they do. I have a great relationship with my sisters because it began at birth...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:42 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • My DIL has a kindness chart. She gives points when the kids do one of the deeds and then after a certain number of points they have a day trip or special meal or treat. Now, her kids are younger but you could modify it for older kids. Also, I saw on Supernanny that the family should play board games together and play in teams. Then alternate the teams so that the kids are team mates once in awhile. Just a couple of ideas..........
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:47 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

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