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3 Bumps

rant here...i love how my DDs Dad gets to go out and drink and have fun and i never get to do those things anymore because i have to be RESPONSIBLE...

honestly, i would rather spend time with my daughter anyways but it just bugs me that since he has no responsibility towards her, he can brag all over Facebook about going out to the bars and having a GREAT time...ugh...must be nice!

 
mamagee1218

Asked by mamagee1218 at 12:28 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,863 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Does he not see his daughter at all? If he does, even every other weekend or something, go out when he has her. It is very frustrating not to have time to yourself, but think about everythng you have, that he doesn't. You have your daughter, and he has what, alcohol? Big deal. Do you have a daycare that has a parent's night out? A sitter you can hire, even if it's just to go to a coffee shop for an hour and read?
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 12:50 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I had this convo with a good friend recently. They suck and we are good moms, lets look at it this way!
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 12:29 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Yes but keep in mind that when DD gets older she will realize that while dad did whatever he wanted, you were her support and she will always want you to help her with messes rather than dad.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:31 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • can you get a sitter once a month so you can both go out? i know it is not always possible. my kids are 6,10 and 11 and we started going out together once or twice a month even if for 2 hours. stress reliever. i dont think he should go out without you all the time. have you told him how you feel?
    stargazer74

    Answer by stargazer74 at 12:41 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Even the best mom's need some time for themselves...my kids are nearly 14, just turned 10 and 8.5 yrs old. I am just learning this as I have not done this at all until recently. I was actually forced into it, but the fact remains that we need to take a little time for ourselves to stay on top of our game. During my "respite time, however, I do not go "out" to bars. I use my time reading, on the internet like on CM or taking a well deserved nap!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 1:15 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • stargazer....we are not together....he lives an hour away....good suggestion tho! i would love to go out alone, actually, just for some time away. : )
    mamagee1218

    Comment by mamagee1218 (original poster) at 12:45 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • lol, I soo understand how you feel. I have the same problem. Actually tomorrow will be my first night with a sitter in about 7 months. I'm going to a benefit, and well, I can't drink because I'm pregnant(yeah, we split when right after I became pregnant with our second), but at least I'm getting out of the house.

    and jolee, it has nothing to do with jealousy! Trust me. If she wanted to go out, she'd find a way to get out. The fact is, she CHOOSES to be a responsible adult and mom to her kids. It's more about anger that someone can be so callous about their relationships, and they CHOOSE to go out rather that be responsible. It's about disgust for his lack of help with the parenting responsibilities. As someone who has a DH in her life who is active in her social life, I don't expect you to understand these feelings. So please, butt out or at least be nice.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:43 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • Anyways, OP... yes going out can be nice sometimes, and it does tick you off when the person that is suppose to help 50% of the time with the kids chooses to go out and drink rather than share in the responsibilities with raising the kids. But unfortunetly we are in this alone. And like I said, while it's nice to get out and get some adult time once in a while, we know deep down that we are there for our kids and choose them over a night out for a reason. Because we are carrying the load of two parents because some people decide they just can't hack it.
    And yes I feel you have the right to vent. Some people will call it jealousy, but if it truly were jealousy, we'd find a way to dump our kids on a sitter every weekend and hit the town just like their fathers just to show them up. Trust me I know plenty of single moms that will do this. Just remember we are great parents in our own right and there for out kids.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:49 AM on Oct. 16, 2010

  • well as a SAHM of 5, me and DH choose to drink at home and BBQ and enjoy the kids. The fact is you are jealous! Why dont you have some girlfriends over and have a good time while all the kids play? I mean you are limiting yourself!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 1:35 PM on Oct. 15, 2010