Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Ur opinion on if 4 is too many?

I have 3 kids already. 3 yr old twins (they will be 4 in January) and a baby that will be 1 yr in December. I talk about getting pregnant again and everybody acts like I am stupid or something. I have a great support system, a full time job that I am allowed to take my kids with me to so I dont have to pay for daycare. I need a minivan and Im not gonna lie...money is tight but we are making ends meet and I figure if we wait till we got a lot saved we will never have another one. My husband is fully on board and wants another one. Am i being unreasonable to want another one?

Answer Question
 
mm-mom

Asked by mm-mom at 1:43 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I think you should wait till money is no longer tight then go for it.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:44 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • 4 would be too much.... for ME. But if you want another child, and you have the means/support to do so, I say go for it! If both you and your husband feel the same way, that's all that matters...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 1:44 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Have another! If that's what you want and you feel financially able, who cares what anyone else thinks. People are used to the "perfect" 2 kid family fad. I love it when I see big families out and baout. I want half a dozen someday too.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 1:45 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • hell no. i'm one of 4, my parents were both one of 4 in their families. my fiance is one of 7 and i've adopted his 5 sisters as my sisters. big families are awesome
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 1:46 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • 4 would be too much for me also. And, it's probably too much for a lot of people....but not you. So, don't listen to them. Just because THEY think 4 is too much, does not mean that it really is more than you can handle. You know what you want & need, don't let anyone else's opinions change what you want. If your family does not feel complete without a 4th child, then you should have one more. It's no one else's business. Do what is right for YOUR family.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:47 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • If you want a fourth, have a fourth! For me, it's too much...I'm planning 2 kids...Well, I say 2 PREGNANCIES max, just in case I have twins! Of course, if I have twins first time around and it's boy and girl, then I'm done! But that's me...you want more, have more!
    dlandrum

    Answer by dlandrum at 1:48 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • No way are you out of line.....If your husband is on board....have another baby and enjoy your beautiful growing family.....I think the world today is hostile to children....ignore those who think you are crazy.....I got the same reaction when I had my 3rd child....because my 2 older ones were teens....I allowed others to hurt my feelings, but I have never regretted my child..... :)
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 1:49 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Thanks everybody..it is good insight that alot of people are used to seeing the perfect 2 kid family but thats not what Im going for. Im going for huge 5 kid family thats messy and busy with soccer practice and gymnastics at the same time. And the fighting and "mom she's touching me" and flinging mashed potatoes at the dinner table kinda family. But also the love and fun that a big family holds
    mm-mom

    Comment by mm-mom (original poster) at 1:55 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Don't ever let anyone tell you what the "right" number of children is for your family. Only you and your husband can decide that.
    asmcbride

    Answer by asmcbride at 1:59 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • i think it is a personal decision. it depends on the family. i'm the youngest of 4 and i think it was a great number for us. my dh only has a sister and i'm lucky enough to have 2 sisters and a brother. i would love to have 4 but it will depend on finances and how much we can handle after the second one comes.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:00 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.