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I have been seperated 4.5 years..do 50/50 custody with my kids..i want to move in with long term bf and obtain 100 custody due to better living environment, much better school system...can I jeopardize my custody by living with my bf of 2 years?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Oct. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Only if it has something horrible on his record. Other then that no.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:49 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • You are going to have problems getting full custody unless you can prove without a doubt that the children's father is a unfit parent. As far as affecting custody, if your boyfriend has any type of criminal history, it could affect it.

    You should check in with your state laws on adultery and such. Are you still legally married to the father of the children? If so, are you legally separated? Does your state allow cohabitation during legal separation?
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 1:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I agree. Unless he has a bad record, then they wouldn't punish you for moving on and bettering your life and even providing a healthy living environment for the kids. :)

    But if dad deserves custody he should have some. If he tries and they love him and want to spend time with him, don't take that from them. :)

    GL!
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 1:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • no record.....lives on a working farm in a fantastic 1700's historic home....the kids love him and the distance between us is creating an issue...I have had to stay in the city schools b/c of the current custody arrangements..I spoke with their teachers yesterday that tell me they are a minority (kids are white) and they are bored...both have straight A's and need a challenge...I pray the change will be good for all...
    thanks for answering!!!!
    jchrdp

    Answer by jchrdp at 1:54 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • I agree with the pp, you will have a difficult time getting full custody, unless your ex and his "living environment" are a risk to the children. In the state I live in, they do everything in the best interest of the child, and if there is no reason to take away custody from one parent; i.e., they are not harming the child, the judge won't do it.

    I doubt living with your bf would have any affect on your custody unless he poses a risk to your children.

    Since you have 50/50 custody, you and your ex decide together on the schooling; will he agree to enroll the children in the school that is close to your home? Will it be better for the children to do so? By that I mean, is it really that much better of a school that it's worth trying to take the children from their father and remove them from their consistent and stable routine, school, etc?
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:57 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • Their dad has become a "closet" drinker..I left him after he repeatedly beat me....the kids saw a lot...I had counseling for all of us and we are all in a better environment....they are not happy with week long visits...they request only weekends..they are 12 and 9 and are great kids.
    I am still legally married...he will not sign paperwork b/c it states "due to verbal and physical abuse" the judge has to set a date to grant my request...
    He has a 2br home and a gf that lives with him with 3 additional kids..mine sleep on the floor while there...pretty sad....although he has someone living with him I have had a hard tome deciding on what is best...2 wrongs never make a right.
    jchrdp

    Answer by jchrdp at 1:58 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • go for it...unless the judge is a complete and total ass or you or your boyfriend have a record, you will win. in most states, the judge will listen to the 12yr old. the judge or a social worker will speak with the child alone, not in front of either parent.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 2:23 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • btw...in most states, your ex's living arrangements arent even legal.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 2:24 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • btw...in most states, your ex's living arrangements arent even legal.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 2:24 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

  • If that's the case, and you can prove this to a judge, I would take it to the court, get everything done legally now before it becomes an issue. If you feel it's in your children's best interest, then you should take the divorce to the judge (in our state, you can file a contested divorce, your spouse doesn't need to sign) and request sole custody and whatever parenting plan you deem is appropriate for your children. Just make sure to have your ducks in a row, and have the information necessary to back up your request.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 2:34 PM on Oct. 15, 2010

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